BeLog

Ghost of a Sabre Tooth Tiger is wonderful

2011-05-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

So I went to the Flaming Lips show this past Friday in Detroit last minute. Opening band was bringing it. Lush interesting psychedelic chords. Groovy beats and moves. Drums, keys, hot chick on bass who could play, and singer on lead guitar.

As set went on, and songs got even more intriguing and intense, they started trading solos, and they were real solos; fully capable chops but using them to play notes to elevate the music intensity. No posturing, just in their zone leaving it on the field for the song.

They looked cool, and were ridiculously relaxed and confident in their stage manner. Playing their songs earnestly, going for it for themselves while presenting it professionally and with nimble skill. Seasoned.

Something keeps my spidey-sense tingling as I try to figure out who this band is, who this singer is who keeps revealing more and more every song how f*cking ridiculously adept his playing and soloing is. I start wondering if the Slash-esque top hot, blown out hair coming out the sides framing the face and glasses means this guy is a little older, been around the block. They sure play like pro's. There's something familiar about him. The British naval trench coat and fat Gibson mask whether he's a little chubby or just too fashionably layered.

I squint more to study the face. Something about the nose. Something about the way he grooves to the music while watching his band mates do their thing. It seems like he's not moving much unless you really watch that he's just bobbing a little bit. Why does this seem so comfortable and familiar?

Then another soaring song and he's ripping another fantastic lead. It's like a Floyd jam, everything rising, more musical noise, while the foundation is still set. Then it hits me. Or I think it hits me, but I'm shocked at the revelation. It can't be. But goshdammit I'm 99% sure it is, but how did i not hear or know this? Could this fantastically good guitar player be him? I'm gonna ask and someone's gonna laugh me out of the room. Well, f*ck it, I'm askin' so I did.

It was.
It was f*cking Sean Lennon.

I was at the merch table immediately after they left the stage asking which CD was THAT! that I just heard, which was to roaring applause. And the energy of the place to me, seemed most people didn't know it was John Lennon's kid. (Not that it matters, but I'd rather people didn't have that pre-disposition going in and just liked what they heard first.) I was already a devout Julian Lennon fan from day 1 and watching Sean for awhile, checking stuff out with his various projects. But this was miles ahead to my ears.

I was so happy for him and his band - like this might finally get people seeing that the stupid adage all these years that "Julian got the talent, Sean got the money" is such bullshit and mean-spirited. It's never been true, and I look forward to Sean getting his due for being so talented.

Anyway, the closest sound to this live show was this album:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/la-carotte-bleue/id406999578
Basically they did this stuff, but in a Smashing Pumpkins/Floyd at Pompeii kinda way. More electric rock, kinda like The Church when they're plugged in.

This group is called Ghost of a Sabre Tooth Tiger (or GOASTT as they abbreviate in print media). It's him and his french girlfriend model Charlotte Kemp. They're usually acoustic, this album is more mellowly rounded with full instrumentation, kinda like the new Iron and Wine album. I'm still trying to find recordings of the electric assault they do now for the Lips tour.

Bob Edwards from NPR did an interview with GOASTT here:
http://www.chimeramusic.com/bobedwards2011.html#top

Jump in to the music. You'll be glad you did.

2011-03-03T08:23:00.001-08:00

SILLOF'S WORKSHOP -- STARS WARS AND COMIC BOOK HEROES RE-IMAGINED IN DIFFERENT GENRES
This site is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. This person creates custom action figures that transplants established comic or fantasy characters into different genres. It's incredibly well-done.

Wild West Star Wars, 1942 Star Wars, Samurai Star Wars, Steampunk Star Wars, The Victorian Avengers, you name it. CHECK. IT. OUT.

2011-03-01T08:08:00.000-08:00

ARE YOU WINNING LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN?
You are now:

2011-02-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

LOCH NESS MONSTER 2011
I don't understand how in this age, that people who are kayaking for a team building course also do not have video feature on their phone. I would think people hip enough to kayak with a team would be gadget nerds with video capability on their phones.

The more technology changes, the more the Nessie sightings stay the same: one grainy pic of a blob breaking the surface.

But I hope it's real. :)

A********************+

CHICKENFOOT BACK IN THE STUDIO
One of my fav records and new fave bands. Well, damn, that was a given before I heard Note #1 with the pedigree of the band. Anyway, they're in the studio right now making it happen. And all reports are that it's kicking ass. Can't wait. One of the best shows I saw in last 2 years. And not just because I'm a fanboy.

Thank God Chad is playing on the album.
Pics and videos at the link.

A********************+

SAMMY DAVIS, JR. AND LAURINDO ALMEDIA PLAYS
Sammy singing beautifully against chill jazz/spanish guitar. It's a panty soaker. Get it.

Link above has samples. This link goes to the edition with the review. (for some reason the samples aren't across each entry.)

2011-01-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

This is terrific writing. Online University cracks down on online frat

2010-12-14T07:37:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and Happy Holidays, and Ultimate Festivus.

2010 Youtube Awards

The Nuge

2010-09-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

Now don't write this off automatically.

This chat with Drew and Mike WRIF in Detroit, from this a.m. - when he talks music like this, this is why I can never fully write off Ted.
He knows, man. Move the playback slider and start at 14:40 mark, and you can avoid his political stuff (or not)

He's got a nice cherry story for you Detroit Who fans you if you hear it out

http://www.wrif.com/drewmikenew/story.aspx?ID=1273360

Back

2010-03-31T08:37:00.000-07:00

This story about stealing a Van Halen t-shirt is tits.
The 5150 tour it happened during was also my first concert ever, and this was the same shirt I had too.

This great site "The Selvedge Yard" that my friend at Datawhat.com brought to our attention is great. They find sweet pics of cool stuff from old magazines, scan and share and remind people of how cool what it is was. Here's a great post on the movie The Outsiders.

My 6th grade teacher read us that book a little each day in class. We eventually bought it and then saw it when it came out in theaters. It was my first experience of realizing how movies leave stuff out.

2010-02-03T12:03:00.000-08:00

This is great. Wynton Marsalis and Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra: "Portrait in Seven Shades."

One of their members wrote jazz compositions based on the artwork of famous painters,and the LCJO worked them up.

Just came out this week. It's killer. It's arty, yet swings. You can focus on it, or just listen as background jazz. The Picasso tune is, well, Picasso-sounding.

LCOJ always delivers.

========

Check out this guy playing the Who's "Baba O Reilly" on acoustic, doing all the parts.

Christmas has started for me

2009-12-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

Heard it.
Last night - 6:38 pm. In the car. I needed it too.

New KISS tune

2009-09-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

'Modern Day Delilah'
http://songza.fm/~dov1bd

From their new coming album 'Sonic Boom'

I like it, it's got all the Kiss song requirements - easy riff, nice guitar solo, references to guns, mistakes, a damaged woman sleazing out and betraying the protagonist, and someone in the song being brought to their knees for whatever reason.

And at least one good Paul line to mimic: "shame shame shame on you, girl!"
:)

I was driving a load of stuff to the new apartment (been moving) and came in on it, and just when i realized "this has to be the new Kiss tune", the guitar solo kicked in and I was flat out amazed that:
a - it was 'in your face' mix wise. "Yes, a-hole, THIS IS A GUITAR SOLO IN 2009"
b- it was twice as long as any guitar solo you hear nowadays.
c - it was a flat out old school guitar solo. Soulful and dick-waggy, meant to transmit to chicks "meet me at the bus after, I know some awesome tricks. This is just a tease."

If I was 16 and dish-washing at Rams Horn on a Saturday night hating my "working Saturday night" teenage life and this tune came on the grease-caked dish station radio, the song and especially the solo would rejuvenate me for at least another 2 hours.

Which is what good Rokk is supposed to be.

2009-05-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

The only person I know who's truly got the blogging thing right is www.datawhat.com

So, see you there.

2008-12-22T12:35:00.000-08:00

I heard it.
4:05 pm yesterday.
WNIC
I was right here

I should correct myself -- it doesn't start with a 'BONG' so much as a deep 'CLANG'.

It's official Christmas to me now.

But I don't know it's Christmas yet...

2008-12-16T14:40:00.000-08:00

I'm still awaiting my first "real" hearing of this song.
I've heard it off my iPod but it's not the same.
I have to be in the car, and have that familiar Church bell "BONG!" that opens the song for me to really feel like it's Christmas.
I learned this year it's not the same hearing it on demand.

I like knowing others are hearing it too, that communal effect, like a vibrant audience in a packed theater, or an enthusiastic group on your roller coaster tram. Or laughing your ass off at a Seinfeld classic moment at 11:18pm knowing thousands in your metro area also watching just laughed too.

So I'm re-posting this from last year to tempt the fates to bring it to me.

=========

"Yes I DO know"

Holiday season officially started for me this morning --

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" came on the radio without me wondering about it or waiting for it. Just got on the highway, one song in, heater finally kicking on, really starting to wake up, and bang! My Jam.

Every year I look forward to having that surprise me in the car. Some people need to see "It's A Wonderful Life" to really kickstart it. DTKIC is my trigger.

And admittedly, being an 80s kid, this song just hits it. It's a such a perfect snapshot of what 1985 was musically in pop music. Yeah yeah, all the top pop artists of that time were singing, but I'm talking more than the all-star cast. It's more an all-star musical cast too;

The stark wide landscape intro, setting a nice dramatic open feel. (very Dream Academy)
The slow burn build of the vocal melody
The insta-enjoyable chorus hook
The galloping bass guitar line ( I dare say started by my pals Level 42)
Phil Collins propulsive drumming/drum sound (*and don't forget his ever classic PC over-the-bar line drum fill during the organ solo after the bridge)

And next time you listen, think about how perfectly chosen the voices were, and that for each voice, the *way* they sang they're part was a perfect historical snapshot of what that singer's trademark was. From the actual lyric line they sang to how they sang it. You could teach your grandkids about these people;

"See Timmy, this "guy" Boy George, the way he sings this line... all his songs, he was just that smooth. He was the male Sade. And when he adds that soulful "OOOOOO, HOO..." to tag the pre-chorus hook, he was really good at that.
"And Bono, who sings probably the most famous line of it all, well, at that time he was the ultimate passionate political singer. He was known for delivering cynical comments about humanity's ignorance or denial of human suffering in his own music. The words themselves sound cruel, but when Bono sang, you could hear his own distaste thru his sarcasm. He literally was raising a flag about everything in U2 concerts. Here...watch this video from Red Rocks. Ohp, there it is, see the big flag he's marching around with?"

"And this Sting guy, though he doesn't have his own solo line, at that time everyone was using him to add a vocal harmony over top of other people's singing which gave it an otherworldly effect, at once soulful but angelic too. It was very distinctive. and at that time in the 80s, you heard more of Sting hovering over things than singing them at you."

I obviously could go on and on.

But anyway, if you were there in the 80s, think about this song as a musical history lesson. Simon le Bon's voice is spot-on.

And for bonus points, quiz yourself with "who was the only American artist(s)/band that was invited to be part of this song project. If you don't know, you'll be surprised. I'd give you a clue, but it's not cause for celebration yet. Because if it was, you'd have seen the clue already in this post.

Merry Holidays.
(Yes, I'm starting my own saying, Frank Costanza-style)

Cheech & Chong 2000

2008-09-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

I love how this email below starts.

I seriously may print and and frame this, considering how cool it is to me if I think about it per my history with C&C -- to think in 1979, when I was 8 years old and listening to the "Dave? sketch off Star Wars Mike's Dad's C&C albums, that in 30 years, there would be a global interconnecting computer communications network sending digital messages to my PERSONAL COMPUTER, and one of those communications would be Cheech & Chong, as old men, sending ME...also named Dave...an email starting with "Dave?"... to me.

Remember kids...your cell phone is what Kirk and Co. had.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Date: Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 11:58 PM
Subject: More dates for Cheech & Chong: Light Up America and Canada
To: cheechandchongdotcom@cheechandchong.com

Dave?

They announced more dates for the Cheech & Chong reunion tour. They are also selling VIP Upgrades which gets you a meet and greet with Cheech & Chong, as well as a goodie bag.
For ticket details and photos and reviews from the shows...
http:/www.cheechandchong.com/news
Click on the pre-sale link.

October 2
Hampton Beach Casino
Hampton, NH
This second show goes onsale tomorrow/Friday.

February 21
Palace Theatre
Columbus, OH
Pre-sale is September 16 at 10am local time.

2008-08-18T19:22:00.001-07:00

Geez halfway thru August... I see the last post from end of April and can't believe it was that long ago.
Busy summer with lots of concerts. Lots.
Montreal (to see George Michael)
Chicago (to see King Crimson, and back there in a few months for Cheech and Chong)
Frampton again (Bekkala's first show)
Rothbury over July 4 weekend. Awesome.
Umphreys McGree (for Bekkala's bachelor party.)
Rush
Stevie Wonder
Return to Forever
Eddie Izzard
Drive By Truckers
Don Rickles
The Dalai Lama
Duran Duran
Adrian Belew
The Police, again.
I know there's more but those are the ones pinned on the corkboard above this monitor.

And what's coming that I got tickets for--
Zappa Plays Zappa (they tore it up at Rothbury)
Yo Yo Ma
Kodo drummers of Japan
Wynton Marsalis
Chick Corea/John Mclaughlin/vinnie Colaiuta (that's gonna melt brains)
Adrian Legg
Jonatha Brooke
The Who
Plus all the DSO shows we'll see.

Seeing it in writing is quite something. I see concerts. It seems to be what I really like to do.

Thy Will Be Open

2008-04-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was quite a religious themed one. Maybe it's a sign to blog more.

Friday I go to funeral for an Aunt in Toledo. Lutheran service, at this old school church the Belows have been going to since the 50s. I was baptized there. The pastor is relatively new there, but older. Definitely a hippie pastor who's all about church not needing to be depressing and sullen. This guys must have been quite a hippie in the 60s. Because...he actually kareoke'd to a contemporary Christian soft pop song. Didn't sing along, but did calls and answers to the choruses and tried to "lift it" even more. It was so surreal, Christopher Guest could not have staged or improv'd a more incredulous WTF? moment. So many people were squeezing down their smiles and lowering their heads to not laugh in order to get through it. It was quite the introduction to Christian/Lutheran church for Masha who's never been to a funeral, or really hung out in a Christian church service.

Get up Saturday, and go sit in a basketball arena and watch the Dalai Lama teach the basics of Buddhism.

Saturday evening go to Hill auditorium to see Chick Corea, Bobby McFerrin, Jack DeJohnette--
Chick is a scientologist as high in rank as Tom Cruise. It's true.
Bobby Mcferrin is a Buddhist who was on a panel in A2 Friday night with Richard Gere and Steve Segal. Yes, Segal, who is actually a certified Buddhist incarnate. As in, the powers that be said he indeed is the reincarnation of some past lama from the zen Buddhist sect.)
Jack is Christian with some Buddhism mixed in I think.

Sunday I have Passover dinner with Masha's college friends, a couple who live in Ferndale who invited us since 3 of the 4 of us are Jewish. The funny thing is, masha and every friend of hers, Jewish or not, thought I was Jewish when they first met me. I might be from my biological mother's side (which is how you confirm it), but haven't been able to confirm yet.

Now excuse me while I slip into a running suit, sneakers, bunk bed and cut my nuts off. The Heaven's Gate comet is swinging by tonight and I need to be ready to hitch a ride.

Yes I do know

2007-12-06T06:08:00.000-08:00

Holiday season officially started for me this morning --

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" came on the radio without me wondering about it or waiting for it. Just got on the highway, one song in, heater finally kicking on, really starting to wake up, and bang! My Jam.

Every year I look forward to having that surprise me in the car. Some people need to see "It's A Wonderful Life" to really kickstart it. DTKIC is my trigger.

And admittedly, being an 80s kid, this song just hits it. It's a such a perfect snapshot of what 1985 was musically in pop music. Yeah yeah, all the top pop artists of that time were singing, but I'm talking more than the all-star cast. It's more an all-star musical cast too;

The stark wide landscape intro, setting a nice dramatic open feel. (very Dream Academy)
The slow burn build of the vocal melody
The insta-enjoyable chorus hook
The galloping bass guitar line ( I dare say started by my pals Level 42)
Phil Collins propulsive drumming/drum sound (*and don't forget his ever classic PC over-the-bar line drum fill during the organ solo after the bridge)

And next time you listen, think about how perfectly chosen the voices were, and that for each voice, the *way* they sang they're part was a perfect historical snapshot of what that singer's trademark was. From the actual lyric line they sang to how they sang it. You could teach your grandkids about these people;

"See Timmy, this "guy" Boy George, the way he sings this line... all his songs, he was just that smooth. He was the male Sade. And when he adds that soulful "OOOOOO, HOO..." to tag the pre-chorus hook, he was really good at that.
"And Bono, who sings probably the most famous line of it all, well, at that time he was the ultimate passionate political singer. He was known for delivering cynical comments about humanity's ignorance or denial of human suffering in his own music. The words themselves sound cruel, but when Bono sang, you could hear his own distaste thru his sarcasm. He literally was raising a flag about everything in U2 concerts. Here...watch this video from Red Rocks. Ohp, there it is, see the big flag he's marching around with?"

"And this Sting guy, though he doesn't have his own solo line, at that time everyone was using him to add a vocal harmony over top of other people's singing which gave it an otherworldly effect, at once soulful but angelic too. It was very distinctive. and at that time in the 80s, you heard more of Sting hovering over things than singing them at you."

I obviously could go on and on.

But anyway, if you were there in the 80s, think about this song as a musical history lesson. Simon le Bon's voice is spot-on.

And for bonus points, quiz yourself with "who was the only American artist(s)/band that was invited to be part of this song project. If you don't know, you'll be surprised. I'd give you a clue, but it's not cause for celebration yet. Because if it was, you'd have seen the clue already in this post.

Merry Holidays.
(Yes, I'm starting my own saying, Frank Costanza-style)

Well, hoi

2007-10-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile. A whole summer and half a Fall in fact, but it's felt like a full sweaty tumble down some stairs if you ask me (and get my clever joke)

[sipping my wine. "Conundrum", 2004. No, really. It's a nice white that starts sweet like a Riesling but finishes with a black TV static-ey fuzz to the taste buds. It's label talks about how it's a conundrum to figure out because it's flavor/taste can kinda go with anything. Oh wait, I forgot to mention I'm in my comfy purple Lazyboy with my iPod playing Romantic Addagios II as I blog using my company-issued PC laptop, which I found on the shelf (the addagios) at All Media Guide before I left there for my current job.

This blogging is the most time i have spent in this chair since I moved in mid summer. Since I started the new job. Befoe the dark times... before the Empire.

I'd love to go on and on about how I have been more stressed and tweaked in the past 3 months than I ever have with a job, ever. But I can ironically get the immensity of it across by saying that it's so true that you can ask anyone who knows me, even those who haven't seen me at all. Because everyone has noticed that Dave the "Hemingway of email" up and essentially digitally disappeared since mid June. Retina's everywhere have been rejoicing in re-moistured glory for almost 4 months now. My job at this startup has delivered on every web article's promise of how stressed and crazy a startup is. And more. When Pointdexter the red haired nerd in thick glasses from Revenge of the Nerds got high for the first time at the Tri Lamb/Omego Mu party, he asked aloud of the nerdgirl trying to get in his pants "No, really... would you rather live in the ascendency of a civilization or it's decline?" Nerdgirl blew off the question with her reply: "Pointdexter...do you wanna f*ck, OR NOT??". He nodded, she grabbed his crotch very aggressively and let out his weird Bill The Cat-esque "uwrACK!!" scream he does a few times in the movie, and the scene cut to some other impending nerd sex situations.

The point is, people... I think about that scene every day now.

I'm also going to see Don Rickles do standup this Friday and then Van Halen (Roth, Eddie, Al, and Wolfie) the next on Saturday. My life deserves such a weekend, and so does yours, you hockey puck.

Don is literally the last of the generation of Rat Packers, is still sharp, and when will I get a chance to see any legit comic of that era today? Much could be said similiarly of the Van Halen. But what do i know? For all you care, I could be sitting in Palm Springs in the sun, the chicken fat on the body, getting a nice burn, not botherin' anybody. And really, why should you care? Like you have something better to do than stay in Valencia all day and watch the oranges go bad? Nice way to support the family there, dummy.

Goshdamn it, I'm tired.

2007-05-22T23:05:00.000-07:00

I had a good feeling about the new Wilco album from a recent Pitchfork interview with Tweedy. I hardly, if ever, visit or especially consult Pitchfork but something made me go there one day on a break from work stuff. I got a different vibe from Tweedy this time around for some reason. I've read interviews to help me find my way into "getting" Wilco, and they hadn't helped yet. Something still can't push me over the cliff totally, I don't know why. It's like Italian foods I guess - technically you like all the fundamentals like the sauce, pasta and cheese. But some combos of those don't grab ya the way others do. Took me forever to finally love Lasagna, so maybe Wilco will be my new lasagna?

Tonight I think I figured out part of it, pro and con-- I wish he'd enunciate better. I can never tell what he's saying much of the time. And with the verse phrasings so spread out, it's hard to string together the full stanza's by deduction. The ratio of instrumental melody/phrases to actual vocal phrasings over the measures is pretty polar to my ears. I get impatient waiting for the next lyric to come and join the last one. I get a little bored waiting for Tweedy to muster the effort and air (per his delivery) to get out whatever next sentence he has which is supposed to blow my mind, because, well, he's Tweedy, right? He usually sounds really tired to me. But to quote Fripp (as usual): "What we hear is the way we hear." I just have to get used to Tweedy's ebb and flow which I do like a lot of the time. But the music sure is perdy. And damn if this album doesn't just feel niiiiice.

On dark back-country farm Michigan roads at 1am with no one around for miles, the only connecting thread is a charcoal gray plane (headlight'd black asphalt) and a glowing yellow median line. Murky silhouettes of giant ancient trees lining the road that appear like giant Rorschach blotches just slightly denser and darker against the black sky... a safe, lukewarm, post-game remnant beer buzz is my cozy, loose fitting flight suit -- and the new Wilco is wonderful. Like hearing a healthy campfire one lot over, the heat more heard than felt. I like that I can't tell what brand or model of instrument is being played by the band members. It's color, plucks, ticks, taks, and some booms. It could be '07, '47, '27. (Well, maybe a Martian '27.)

I can't fully express enough how much I am not an authority on Wilco... but I felt that that SBS is like their Beck's 'Sea Change'. It gave me the same feelings. Or a Harvest Moon for 2007.

There's gonna be lots of herbalizing to this one, just you watch.

Da' Jack Wabbit go from HERE...ta' DERE'.

2007-04-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a long while, but man did I make up for it.
I can't introduce this with only one clever line, I need a few.

1. An SNL or MAD TV sketch triumphing public access can't and won't ever top actual Public Access.

2. Keep in mind this woman is talking to her mother this whole time, on air.

3. You thought Nicole's admissions to Tom in that Eyes Wide Shut bedroom pot smoking scene was an intense example of "what women really think"...

4. You can't get any more "Wait for it..." than these clips. Just when you think this woman has boldly covered it all and spoken her mind, she hasn't. She's got more to say, uh-huh. So wait for it if you knows what's good fo' ya's...

Vagina Power vs. Penis Power

Then watch Vagina Power: Halloween Show

It's public access, so it's safe. On headphones.

Workin' for The Blog

2007-03-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

It must be tough to be a rock n roll Dad --

Imagine being the now middle-aged lead singer of Loverboy, trying to tackle a parenting issue with your wife involving your teenage daughter -- regarding dating and high school reputation/gossip stuff... yet knowing that your own daughter knows that you once wrote and sang these lyrics.

You're trying to keep her from dating some guy you can tell only wants in her pants and nothing more. Yet you essentially rooted for this same guy, via song, when you were in your 20s and 30s.

'HOT GIRLS IN LOVE'

She's so young at heart
She likes the pleasure of his company
She cuts the inside groove
With her silver spoon
She likes her tapes on 10
And it's the same as her anatomy
She's on a rainbow cruise
All the way to my room

She's turnin' on the heat
She's got the magic touch
She's turnin' on the heat
And it's a little too much
She's turnin' on the heat
And it's a hundred above, yeah
Hot girls in love
I'm in love

Too many men to please
She counts them all on her rosary
You know you might get burned
So be careful where you touch
She gets it when she can
Don't need no anniversary
And she deserves the best, yeah
A cut above the rest

She's turnin' on the heat
She's got the magic touch
She's turnin' on the heat
Ooooh, it's a little too much
She's turnin' on the heat
And it's a hundred above
Hot girls in love
And baby, I'm in love

Some say she do
Some say she don't
Some say she will (she will)
And some say she won't (she won't)
Some say she can't
Well, I know she can
I say I got to be
Her lovin' man, yea-ah

She's turnin' on the heat
She's got the magic touch
She's turnin' on the heat
Ooooh, and it's a little too much
She's turnin' on the heat
It's a hundred above
Hot girls in love
Hot girls in love
It's a hundred above
The hot girls in love, yeah
Be careful where you touch
'Cause it's a little too much
She's got everything she'll need, yeah
But she doesn't want me
She's turning on the heat
She's turning on the heat
She's got that look in her eye
I think I've got to know why
Oooooh, hot girls in love, in love
Aaaahhh
In love
In love

We Need A Plan...

2007-03-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

I love being a guy. Because unlike women I believe, I can appreciate the utter brilliance and beauty of this whole vignette

I think it's a factor of boldness. The balls as an actor to not so much act, or emulate, or attempt to be funny, but to channel the absolute true nature of the male mind and reveal it to the world. Whether it's Evel strapping into the rocket cycle and saying "No really, I really can pull this off" and you can see in his eye that he believes (because in every man's mind, they thought "yeah, technically, it's possible. I'd give it a try to if I was him." --- or Carrey and Daniels unleashing their inner 9 year olds for Dumb and Dumber, it comes down to the power to be vulnerable. To reveal truth, to open up and show what we guys are capable of thinking, imagining, and planning. In the face of all reason.

Guys get Dumb and Dumber because we were once those guys. To see adult males nail that perfect blend of the sharpest emotional imagination coupled with a blunted inexperienced social awarness (i.e. 9 year old boys), is a work of art. We all KNEW we shouldn't be smuggling small explosives into the treefort to upgrade our army guy wars, but c'mon. Somewhere deep down we knew we had "being kids" in our head as a legit excuse if sh*t went down. Or up (in flames) I should say. That diplomatic accord between ignorance and can-do imagination is what fuels the genius adults who find a way to keep riding that mindspace as they "mature"; "How can I push the envelope of making something as cool as possible without letting social practicality persaude me to cool my ideas?"

Well, I'm tangenting again. Point is, in times of drama, when no one's watching, we'll likely revert to the light, flexible, mobile, imaginative mind of our former 10 year old self.

Ladies, remember this when you're sons get to 8-10.

VH. What else?

2007-02-18T10:48:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile. And Rolling Stone provided us a shot of the Van Halen 2007 lineup. I wrote this to a friend regarding the pic and how Wolfgang Van Halen looks older than we imagined he might. And of course, my thoughts on all the debate about Wolfie being the bass player, when it should be original bassist Michael Anhtony, who's been in the band all along, and now out because of bullshit with Eddie and Al. Whatever it is.

I'm thinking that Wolfie being 15 and the son of a rock star in 2007, he more than anyone is handy with a computer and internet, he grew up with one. He likely knows more than anyone how much hatred is probably being aimed his way. Rich rock star kid or not, if you were 15 and knew 30 years worth of diehard fans (who he grew up seeing hate Sammy and expecially Gary), and now HE's the orange among the apples? He spent his dinner table conversations growing up listening to Mom and Eddie deal with all that new singer backlash.

Then again, to play Devil's Advocate, how mad would we be if it wasn't Wolfie? If it's not going to be MA for whatever reasons, think about how pissed we'd be if it was someone like GnR's bassist, one of the Velvet Revolver pukes, or some L. A. session f*ck? Track record or not, in my opinion, if it's gonna be someone not MA, Wolfie is the next best potential candidate from a "keeping it in the family" perspective. (I know, I know... the pun, har har.)

I don't get a sense that Eddie and Al would strategically use him like this just for that PR reason. God damn'em if they are, just to keep the upper hand from a PR spin standpoint.

Then again - many of my friends and I have been in bands and understand that bands and rock and roll are petty activities at best - it's just a rock band. And if Wolfie can play bass and is a prodigy as much as Eddie proclaims, it totally makes sense. How much crap have we musicians dealt with in finding replacement players? Wolfie has no baggage, what 15 year old doesn't want to go on tour and rock out?, there's no worries on whether he'll make it to practice or not, no wife and family to deal with... the real world stuff that can get in the way of a band's progress.

For all the ridiculousness the VH family has brought to us VH fans, my spidey-sense tingles that Wolfie is going to impress us, whether we want to be or not. There's something in Eddie's voice, the words he chooses (and can't choose) when he talks about it. I've been listening to Eddie talk for years, I've heard him make banter, I've heard him make excuses out of nervousness, I've heard him cut right to it. And whether stupid reasonings or not, later on when everything shook out, in hindsight his comments were consistent with what went down. I think he's a an emotional savant, like the Trey Anastasio's of the world. 110% in touch with their emotions which comes thru in the awesome music, maybe not the best critical thinkers (and that emotionalism gets them into trouble to keep that circuit hot. Usually it's drugs.)

Anyway, point is - I believe Eddie when he talks about how good Wolfie is. Not because I want to believe it, or because he should because he's his Dad, but because Eddie talks about it in this way where he's still kinda weirded out about it. I've heard Eddie talk of other players, the way he grants compliments or praises their styles and chops. Gushing Dad's aren't at a loss for words, it just pours out from my experience. They might stammer because they don't want to seem gushing. When Eddie talks about Wolfie, it's like he's still getting his head around it. That he actually has a son, and his son can actually play.

It should be MA on the tour. Period.
It's gonna be Wolfie.
Might as well get used to it.

And who knows - it might be Wolfie who acts as the innocent bridge who brokers a peace between his Dad/Uncle and MA. Maybe Wolfie won't handle the tour rigors or freaks out. Maybe it's him saying "Dad I can't handle the backlash, I'm just a f*cking kid. Get over your sh*t and get Uncle Mike out here. For me."

"After School Special"-ish I know... but Roth and Sammy toured together. We've seen weirder. At the end of the day, Wolfie is the last final straw in Eddie and Al's life. It ain't Valerie anymore, or one of Al's ex-wives. Wolfie is the barometer. And if he bails, Eddie's emotionalism won't handle it, they'll either get MA or call it off. If they didn't they'd be absolute bastards.

I'm going to give Wolfie a chance. He's the only person I would if it ain't going to be Michael Anthony.

Ah, Van Halen.
Oy f*cking vei... again.

I think the best part is that I think Wolfie and Roth will bond like nobody will believe. Remember how much you and Dave bonded when YOU were 15?
;)

2007-01-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

The Van Halen Memorial Day '84 radio special --

The peak and best of times for VH, a sweet 4 hours of full VH tunes spliced with them partying in the radio studio, cracking each other up, wasted, and Roth being Roth telling great stories to sequeway the songs. The Top of the World period for them. And you can hear it.

It just got posted at the Van Halen News Desk and talk about a time capsule. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

My best pal in high school Dan taped this off the air and we'd pound beers in the summer and replay this out the car speakers at the drinking spots. This special covers everything we all loved about the VH. I've looked for this for years online. This recording should go in the R&R Hall of Fame archives.

If you don't have the time to hear thru all the songs, you can move slider to end of songs and hear Roth doing his jive. I just got full body goose bumps re-hearing (for first time in over 20 years) the one Roth quote my buddy and I used to drunkenly recant all the time:

At 19:18 in:
"...we're havin' the biiiig first weekend of the summer celebration babies, we're talkin' Mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-...Memorial Day! So remem-ber-er-er-er-er...stick with me, cuz I'm with Michael, Alex, Ed's gonna be joinin' me in a minute...Flame On!
[announcer]: Our party with Van Halen is just getting started, so don't go away."

I haven't hit a Memorial Day since and not said that to myself. Every year.

Don't put this in your notes, put it in your life.

2007-01-12T08:49:00.000-08:00

HD will win out over Blu-Ray. Period. I call it now. I have been wondering for awhile how HD and Blu-Ray would fare, but this cinched it.

Adult film industry embracing HD DVD

Has anyone ever read any history, ever?? Any tech format that went with porn, they won. Always and forever. Market share, changing tech parameters, improved laser bit read rations per sq. inch of media, blah blah blah...the common denominator is if this guy can see Ginger Lynn play hide the salami's.

From:
"Sony suffered by their reluctance to sign licensing agreements with studios to have films made available in Betamax. Sony also refused to allow pornographic material to be released for their system. Betamax's combination of lower market share and a lack of software both strengthened VHS's hand, and gradually the public turned away from Beta. In 1983 the top selling video recorder in the UK was the Sanyo Beta VTC5000. 1984 was Beta's best year with a 25% market share, but by 1986 it was down to 7.5% and continued to decline further."

2006-12-18T18:34:00.000-08:00

Go here for good stuff:

Pitchfork Wine

2006-12-07T17:15:00.000-08:00

Absolute genius. Wait for it. Holiday tune awaiting you. Merry Christmas.

2006-11-29T19:19:00.000-08:00

Nothing ever changes unless there's some pain.
-Roland Orzabal

Well, it sucks anyway, regardless.

2006-11-22T07:26:00.000-08:00

Hi there,
It's been awhile. I went to London to see some bands I always loved from my teens Level 42 and Go West, got backstage each night and met them all. Walked around London much of the time, rode trains around the UK and London, met cool people, saw cool stuff. Saw the comedy show Little Britain live on stage which was hilarious.

Now it's Thanksgiving already.

By the way last post was about how pissed I was at people being on a bandwagon of dissing the new Killers album for ripping off Bruce Springsteen. IMO it doesn't. It doesn't sound like Bruce Springsteen except for one homage-esque chord progression. And the Killers actually said they were in a Springsteen phase the past few years and let it filter thru them because they loved it so much. Kind of like, oh, um, every musican who ever listened to music that they liked which then inspired them? So, so what?

Anyway, that's that.

2006-10-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

By the way, in case you didn't know it, your life is not yours. And it kinda sucks. But maybe not.
Why?
Because you ripped off Bruce Springsteen. Blatantly.

Explanation forthcoming....

[But just so you know, I'm not saying I think it's bad, or even that I think it sucks. I just need you to know. Because I heard someone else say so too. Heck I like you. And Bruce. I don't see or hear the ripoff, but since so many other people say so, it must be true. Plus it's way easier for me to just say it instead of making sure myself. Kinda like the way people get mad when the GOP gets all their crew(s) using the same buzzwords to corral a story or frame a perspective.]

========

Part II:

Art is a selective re-creation of reality according to an artist's metaphysical value-judgments. An artist recreates those aspects of reality which represent his fundamental view of man's nature. -- Ayn Rand

========
Part III:
Oh, but it's okay if The Hold Steady likes him.

"We've been on the phone only a few minutes, and my bi-coastal blunder has already confirmed my guess. "Laid back" is the phrase of the hour for The Hold Steady, the band that will toss you a beer and remind you how to kick back. There's a musical void long left vacant by the likes of Bruce Springsteen and Led Zeppelin, who exist only in the occasional Top 40 rundown. Kids, the time has come to touch that dial. The Hold Steady will take over from here and remind us just why that kind of music feels so good, sans a speck of irony."

" it ain't no rocket science to decipher that these dudes harbor some big love for everything from the Boss to Jim Carroll to The Replacements. Please recognize, the mere existence of a band naming Bruce Springsteen as a major influence sets 'em apart from The Arcade Fires and Belle & Sebastians who held their headline spot in the past."

2006-09-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile.
Check this out, and I hope it makes up for it.

1500 videos

2006-08-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

From a response of mine to a drinking buddy who commented he doesn't think he'll be able to party at all in 20 years:

Dude, It will be like our Dads did - sipping on a fav drink at functions and not getting too wild.

That's when our kids start to learn from observation "what Dad's drink is". Which they'll think has always been our drink (because we don't tell them how much we actually got shitfaced back in our day). Then when oure kids get older, start cutting back, and settling on that one thing they know they like and doesn't tear them up, then they realize the generational chain of it all.

Circle of life.

I'm proud of that one.

August Nights

2006-08-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

I was on phone with friend last night, in my easy chair, windows open, dusk time on a summer August Sunday night. I flipped over and saw the last minutes of your Amereca's Funniest Videos. That finishes and they cut to the outdoor shot of the host, with a location audience in the main street of Disneyland behind him, the Disney Castle in the distance behind him. (The Mouse/Disney/Buena Vista owning everything in the world, they film so many one-off clip shows, game show moments shows at Disneyland)

I had this sensory, full body flush of memory that was really cool and overwhelming:

Growing up, young enough when you didn't go out at night (except to spend night at your friends), or be playing down the block after dinnertime on Sundays, the TV shows my family plopped and watched was usually whatever was on ABC Sunday nights, which was always some Disney special, or Disney sponsored movie. As the summer wound down, weekend trips or vacations were to a minimum, and part of the summer wind down experience (sliding into school year schedules) was watching TV regularly on Sunday nights again. Those cool August nights, that "back to school tomorrow" feeling.

That experience, that sensation rippled itself thru me instantly last night when my brain registered:
- Channel 7/ABC
- The light blue, lit-up Disney castle in background
- Family entertainment
- Cool, beautiful dusk August Sunday night
- me watching TV at that moment.

I was totally 6-7-8-9-10 again.I felt the summer winding down like I did when I was that age.

Probably moreso than I have since I was little because I packed in enough fun and adventures this summer (concerts, partying, mini-trips) that paralleled as many bike rides, dirtclod fights, family vacations, "kill the guy (with the ball)" ('smear the queer' as you may know it), Goonie and Stand By Me expeditions around your suburbs, 7-11 trips for baseball cards and candy, and touch football in the street.

When I was little, the last image I saw (and dreaded) was the end credit sequence that signed off that that night's show was brought to you by Disney, and they had this animation of the star arc'ing over the castle. That was the visual sign of "bedtime" for me.

I know Fast Food Nation can prove some evil inherit in that perfect kiddie branding/brainwashing, but a shooting star at night time arc'ing over a castle ain't so bad for a kid to associate with bedtime.

2006-07-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

When i was young we had 2 Lhasa Apso dogs.
The male's name was Toshi.

My Mom chose it, though I don't know how or why. We had him I think before Star Wars and I didn't name him. In star Wars, Luke wanted to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters. It wast the local hangout for Tatooine young adults.

I had a dream last night and Toshi was in it;

I started running a footrace, like a 10k or something, in the countryside. among many people in the starting line Bo, Luke, and Daisy happened to running the race too. Eventually I was running alone, and got on a giant new skyway/beltway (like how a highway runs around/thru a city but up way high, like Baltimore, Philly, Toronto.) I'm alone running uphill on this perfect, new black asphalt lane that felt like a running track. It's night time. Muggy, super quiet, and humid. High up. Moisture in the air like last night was, every surface like it's sweating. A giant Sears Tower to the left, the only structure in and against the dark grey foggy giant sky that surrounds the skyway lanes. Colors lIke I'm on Kamino, the cloners rain planet from Attack of the Clones, but it's not raining. I'm thinking "I guess that's Toronto's Sears Tower. Hmm!.

I start getting up to the highest part of this beltway where it levels off and there's this lone box, like a shed in the middle of the road lane. I get to it and Glenn Close is stooped against it, like she was in the race too, catching her breath. I stop to chat with her and we both start looking back down the beltway and deducing we must have missed a turn in the race route because no one is coming up the beltway. Or did we? But at her feet, milling around like normal milling, is my old dog Toshi. LIke he was her dog and was jogging the race with her.

I'm in that deep REM sleep of a dream where it's so vivid and real to the senses that I start realizing I'm in a dream and begin thinking about what the dream means from within the dream. I begin piecing the elements together, separating the suboncious message meanings from the easier things that are just recent dashes of normal life into the dream sauce -- muggy and foggy (the drive home last night from band practice), lone uphill new asphalt beltway, up at top, Glenn close and I made a wrong turn maybe?, Toshi my old dog is there (thinking about Toshi station from watching Star Wars/your website)

Then the giant outtro chorus of Mellencamp's "Pink Houses" yanks me from the dream into my bedroom as my alarm clock goes off with 107.1's morning playlist. I lay there mad about this. I finally get up for work and have the thought in me that Lawrence Kasdan needs to trick all the actors of the Big Chill into a secret conf call. So he can get Glenn, Kline, Goldblum, JoBeth, Hurt, Berenger, and the others on the line to get honest feedback on his serious idea of a Big Chill 2, but the same characters at the age they'd be now in 2006. Because if he sent message to all of them (via their pubicist's) saying "I'd like us all on a call to discuss a Big Chill 2", some of them would vote their opinion by blowing it off.

That was my Thursday morning. How was yours?

Liz

2006-07-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

Good. Good for her.

I bet Paris Hilton is happy Liz won't be slimming down to compete with her. Glad Liz feels that she could be a threat if she felt like it.

Elsewhere in entertainment, a young inner city child, born of criminal, drug addicted parents was given a chance to express herself via a small play put on in her class. This moment of expression and release instilled in her a sense of achievement and boosted her self-esteem enough to see, for the first time, a way out of the sad and depressing life she foresaw for herself every time she cried herself asleep... asleep to the screams, angry noise, and despair coming from her parents bedroom.

After this moment, the knowing teacher saw for the first time a sense of strength in the young girl. An instance of clarity for both of them, that she would be allright.

But goddamn't, we don't have time for such drivel.
THE WORLD MUST KNOW LIZ WILL WILL EAT WHENEVER SHE WANTS.

2006-07-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

Look here's the bullshit man, right here:

True friends understand you're human.

Blah blah fuckin blah, all the way to the gourd of omnipotent disclaimers that validate and correctly temper the legitimacy of subtle dishes which poke and jab at political correctness in self-expression....

but fuck all ya'all... (in a good way)

Try to lay down some heavy concientious high maintenance diatribe b.s. while REO Speedwagon's 'Roll With The The Changes' is blaring thru your headphones while typing.
The simplicity of Life and the neeedlessness of b.s will greet you much faster than it took me to write this sentence.

5 beautiful pitchers with treasured friends hours earlier doesn't make it easy [to type]. But it makes the Valhalla ending [of the REO tune] really effing awesome.

Get over yourself. Live a little.
The humidity hasn't been that bad yet,

JAM!!!!!!

To quote Porchsleeper...

2006-07-03T11:35:00.000-07:00

Vince Neil - Drunk Again

Read about it here, from melodicrock.com:

"CORABI TO THE RESCUE:
Press Release / June 30 in Tampa, Florida Vince Neil headlined a show at the St. Pete Times Forum, with special guests Ratt. John Corabi, one time singer for Motley Crue has worked with Ratt for several years now, and he and Vince have had a very amicable working relationship, having shared several bills over the years, and working with many of the same musicians at one time or another.

It is no secret that Vince Neil has had some issues with alcohol over the years, and unfortunately those issues reared their ugly head in Tampa. According to eye witness reports, Vince took the stage already inebriated. He began his performance singing off key, mumbling, and staggering around the stage. At the twenty-three minute mark, Vince wandered off to the side of the stage, where some reports have him collapsing on stage. His band, which featured Jeff Blando (guitar) and Dana Strum (bass) carried on without him, performing three Led Zeppelin songs with Jeff handling vocals. The band carried on in the utmost professional manner. They deserve all the respect in the world for this as musicians and performers.

Meanwhile backstage, management approached John Corabi to head out on stage to help them out of this already ridiculous situation. John accepted and took to the stage to pick up the set with Live Wire. John performed about half of the song while holding up a shaky Neil. Who at one point in the song grabbed the mic and announced "I love this mother-fucker" referring to John. Corabi got a good laugh out of this and seeing that Vince was determined to carry on, finished the song and took a bow, and left the stage. The show ended shortly after with Vince not being able to carry on.
Considering Corabi's past experiences with Motley management, his taking the stage for any amount of time was not something that he had to do. His actions speak volumes as to the kind of person that he is, and that he is truly a professional! Not to mention that he sounded incredible, there is video of some of the incident on the web.

I have to say that I have all the respect in the world for Vince's band, and John Corabi, and feel that their professionalism should be emulated throughout the music business. With a huge tour with Aerosmith looming this fall, Motley may need to think about having Corabi open the shows as an insurance policy, so should Aerosmith! The fans are speaking out on message boards all over the web, and www.john-corabi.net would love to hear from you at info@john-corabi.net."

See some of it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnlzu-KHtbc

Horribly hilarious. The few times he manages to get his drunken howling out of his mouth (to attempt the English language) is worth waiting for as he meanders around the stage.

2006-06-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

Go to Bonnaroo next year.

**************

And to make up for such a long absence (May was a bitch), here's a great story about a program that has prison inmates help raise puppies to be guide dogs. It helps the puppies and it helps the inmates tremendously.

2006-05-31T18:08:00.000-07:00

SHOES

Turn_it_up.

2006-05-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

Blade Runner is getting a fancy new re-re-re-re-release

=============

I'm gonna own the new re-re-re-re-release of Smokey and the Bandit this week. You should too. Cuz it was fun.

=============

I'ma big fan of Robert Fripp, as a person and musician. He holds quite sacred the performance, power, and relationship that music is to people, especially in terms of performer and audience. He requires audiences no recording and photography of his performances and or King Crimson's. He recently reiterated why this is on his online diary. I thought it was good:

[RF responded to someone posting this quote on the a message board: "When you hear music, it’s gone... lost in the air... you can never capture it again." ]

As a player who has long argued against recording live music, there is much here that resonates with me.

The very attempt to capture a quality, as if it were a thing & material object, prevents it being "captured". A quality escapes our attempts to pin it down. Rather, when we abandon the attempt, and enter the moment, the situation has just changed: the moment becomes available to us. The question is then, are we available to the moment? This is a practical question, and available to practical answers.

A moment may be transitory, brief if measured by the clock; but a qualitative experience takes us into the eternal. Like, do we remember the first embrace with our Love? Do we recall the opening notes of ... (enter a title of your choice). Even, how can we forget a passing smile of a Mother’s love?

So, what do we do to remember a moment which is, in its nature, ephemeral? There are techniques, and forms of practice, to help us develop a deeper relationship with transitory events. Exceptional events, which present themselves unbidden, impress themselves upon us, regardless of our practice or experience. A qualitative experience, an entry into creative time, by definition puts us into a different relationship-in-time with the moment.

The fragility of the creative moment, its delicacy & vulnerablility, its richness only-to-be-held by letting it go, is a tragedy of the creative life; and also what makes it real. So, a reformation of the statement…

When you hear music, it’s arrived, and present in the air… you can never capture this moment, and it will never return. But the quality of this moment is eternal: you may embrace it & carry it with you, as it is also embracing & carrying you.

=============

The older I get, the more youthful my fascination becomes with sensing myself age and grow.

=============

Shatterpoints exist in the heart and mind, just like glass. A truthful push at the truest spot in a true moment can truly bring someone to pieces. And like a glass, we're puzzled as it felt like we barely squeezed when it broke in our hands.

This is a Talent Show

2006-05-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

Watch this guy present the Evolution of Dance.

He's got it down. Wait for it.

MIA

2006-05-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

I'm alive, I swear. All 8 of you can rest assured.

Coming soon with fun stuff.

The BIG 35

2006-04-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

So technically yesterday was my birthday as I blog this near 1am after my bday night.

The big 3.5.

Joy threw me surprise party that I completely had no idea about. Gathering wonderful friends of mine at the Ann Arbor sushi place Godaiko after work. I just had helped enable a surprise party for good friend Steve Bekkala 3 days before on Saturday, and had spent the days since that moving from our house to my Mom's for a week as our hardwood floors were being refinished.

I'll spare the details on how much other stuff was going on that helped me never think something was being planned for me, but I honestly had no idea. We were just having our "date night" at Godaiko but for my birthday, and would sit in one of those little enclosed Japanese rooms where everyone sits low with no shoes on. As I left work with Joy to drive the mile to Godaiko, it just so happened that my Mom called from Delaware where she was helping my Grandpa install a big plasma TV he bought after winning 10,000 in a lottery there. No rouse, for real. I had no time to think or suspect or see clues of friends cars in the lot - I was on the phone the whole time into the restaurant lobby.

I finally get of phone, turn corner to where i think we're to sit and see infamous friend Star Wars Mike sitting there with a bunch of people in the enclosed Japanese room and it hits me. A surprise party. Bam. Got me.

It was great. I never thought this year of all years it would happen, as I have had 3 surprises ruined or foiled before. It was cool to have it finally occur and experience the fun of it. Joy did an excellent lovely job, and I'm so grateful.

ON TURNING 35 --

I've never had a "thing" with any age the way most people freak or squirm at the thought. But 35 has been kinda walloping me. There's absolutely no excuse with this age and the numbers after it -

- getting busted by cops for hijinks
- being concerned with stuff from teen years
- jumping jobs out of boredom

The list goes on.

Even the phonetics of it - THURDY FIGH-VA.
The 'Th' and 'FI' and the 'uv'. All fuzzy sandy slidey sounds. Not much grip or traction audio-wise. 34... 4 is under 5, almost halfway yet not.
4: Even number. Even Keel, divisible by 2. A building block numeral. 2 to 4 to 6 to 8 to 10. Do it all over again, but add numbers in front of it. 12, 24, 36, 48...

But then what about 36? Yeah, but 36 is after 35. After the "halfway point to 70" which 35 is.

6 is an even number, yet still has the "thurdy" in front of it which lisps and slobbers on 6 which is sleek, sexy and also divisible by 2, though it can hang with the odd crowd like 3 and 9.

3 is ok, the quirky kid who only needs 2 friends to be himself and have fun, those are 1 and 2. 9 you have to watch out for - he has enough friends (eight of them actually) that thinks 9 is a cool dude, probably a buddy to 10 by living next door to him. But he's not as gifted as 10. So he shortchanges other number friends. Add anything to 9 and you come up short: 9+5=14, 9+7=16. 9 is so close to 10 that kids like 7 & 8 think that running with 9 might get them to the big teen leagues, so they go with him instead of 10 and take that leap. But it's always one short. 9 is like a bad Hollywood agent - promising A-list parts but once on set you realize he got you the best friend role. 7 signs with 9 hoping to get a 17 role, but only 16. So painfully close.

10 is mature, older, stronger. A pillar of strength. Dependable. So much so that exponentials use 10. Ya ever see giant numbers calculating the universe being to the power of 4?? You're closer to authority when you're closer to a 10. You know what ou get when run with a 10. 10 is all there with who are. You're a 5? Then you're 5 with a 1 in front... 15.

Just a sidebar to see if you're still paying attention, remember that the secret to life is 44% Lettuce

Anyway, point is that 35 is kooky number for me. The first one to really play on my mnid and make me feel like a true, can't bullshit myself otherwise, full fledged adult. I don't think even the sweetest 90 year old Aunts would say at the reunion "Oh, you're 35? You still have loads of time to figure it out."

And by the way, I'm officially not worried about by Corporate Advertising. No longer in the 18-34 group. They're most likely pissed at me for not already having soon-to-be-teenage kids hijacking me for CD or iTunes money.

I was sent a letter by Doritoes, Mountain Dew, and MTV saying the memorial service they held for my demographic PIN number was lovely, went smoothly, and no babies screamed and filled their diaper during the service. I was told Anthony Michael Hall delivered a great eulogy, as Ewan McGregor was "not available." His excuse was that he didn't know who I was.

========

Like footage of Rock and Roll accidents?

Widescreen DOH

2006-04-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

A full-length feature film of the Simpsons. 2007.

2006-03-18T19:10:00.000-08:00

Go see 'V for Vendetta'.
Don't read reviews, don't investigate who's in the movie, don't read up on it.
Just go see it and let the fun of wondering who's behind it all put you in league with the characters of the film.

The guys who made the Matrix movies delivered this. It's not Matrix, but if you liked the premise of the first Matrix, you will enjoy V. Great acting, wonderful vibe of "what's coming next?" throughout, and the Matrix-ey message of empowering people to not fear challenging the world they're handed by the powers that be in charge.

A great line that reflects the main theme: "People should not fear their government, the government should fear it's people."

It's a smart, engaging, sophisticated ride. Portman is great in it. The masked character is master class acting - like Boba Fett doing Shakespeare. So fun.

Don't ruin it and read who's in the movie. Just go see it and enjoy.

Please find another planet NASA

2006-03-06T15:37:00.000-08:00

A perfect example of where Goerge Carlin got the idea for his bit that suggested a good reality-based political campaign slogan would be "People Suck. Fuck Hope."

This piece of shit family launched a disturbing campaign to tarnish the funerals of fallen soldiers. They get other like-minded shitheads to tailgate military funerals with signs that read "Thank God for IED's" and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers."

They say the soldiers are fighting for an army that represents a country that accepts homosexuality. So in their mind the best answer it seems is to harass the mourning families of soldiers who died and act glad that they lost their kids.

Fucking morons. I hope they get run over.
But, Check it out to see the gang of people harassing against them. The universe hates a void, holes left get filled (in this case with intelligence). Actions get equal opposite reactions.

*( Btw, I swear because they deserve it. Resolution this year was to swear only in deserved situations.)

Oscar Recap

2006-03-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

I think Michelle Williams was the prettiest woman of the night, regardless of the big bird dress. In terms of "Wow, she glamored up really great." Plus she didn't have that look in her eyes of "it's incredibly important that I come off as obviously knowing that I'm at the Oscars and looking glamorous." In other words, she wasn't being Nicole Kidman.

Yes, Jake is a class act, as Datawhat.com mentioned in his great recap.

I felt Clooney would get at least one Oscar. Hollywood was going to thank him somehow just for being GC - taking on O Riley, hitting issues, and being a good dude about it all. 'All' being, like, everything.

Hate to say, I think Jon Stewart not so much bombed as he more perilously landed the plane with one wheel, on fire, and got himself and his (writing) team off before it exploded. No one really died, but the CO probably won't think he's got the right stuff for the same mission next year. Though I think he does and should get to host again.

The timing/delivery of the opening monologue was, imo, filled with pregnant pauses of "Wow, I knew this would be like no other room I've played to before, but holy shit!, the vibe in here is more overwhelming than I imagined." The order/calibur of the jokes was weighted towards the end of the monologue, which in one perspective was great because it saved him when he needed it.

The Jon Stewart we love recovered and relaxed into the timing and flow we're used to as the night went on. I think if he gets a second hosting chance, he'll kill next time from Minute 1. He's gonna study his game tapes and learn from it. He admitted in press interviews beforehand that he was intentionally being careful because, "hey, it's the Oscars and I'm not here to piss anyone off" basically. Maybe being so aware that with such topic-heavy movies and themes abound, and knowing he was made host because he really skewers hot topics and themes well, he was worried that he could easily go too far perhaps? I don't think from the years doing the Daily Show that he's seriously undertook the exercise of pulling his own reigns back. Why would he/when would he have to? The Oscars were that first exercise.

He played it safe, and for good reasons I think. Maybe too safe for Stewart fans and Oscar watchers. You could see it in his eyes, hear it in his cadence. IMO, the killer instinct he definitely has for doing 'the Jon Stewart thing' was tempered juuuust a bit too much. I'd bet someone an ice cream that as I type this, he has or will share a drink at the after party with Ben Stiller to chat/ask about how Ben learned to be fearless at the Oscars. Every bold comedic personality had to find that fit of their personae with the Oscar night. From Jim Carrey to Whoopie, the first times they let loose their thing, they had hopeful/scared eyes. Dreading that moment of silence after a joke that screams telepathically from the audience "Um, this is the Oscars, and we're not giving you points for that one. See the signposts and drive a little better now please." We've all seen that moment. Now it's old hat to them.

All Jon needs is his first Oscars after party to sense and receive the real feedback from the celebs. Next time he'll be fine. And his good buddies will be honest with him when he's drinking with them this week to decompress from Oscar week. And share with his closest buddies how hot such and such is in person and how much a dick such and such dude is. And how gay so and so is and how everyone knows it but keeps it on the d/l.

To get off that topic, I thought I'd check Drudge to see how the smug extreme Right would bitch and comment about the Oscars. Unfortunately Ann Coulter's Oscar picks were actually pretty close, though I don't care for the commentary.

I gotta say...when I read it, her attitude and personality that comes through in her writing brings to mind the image of the desert Sarlaac Pit from Return of The Jedi, that Jabba tried to throw Luke and the boys into. The original Sarlaac pit I'm talking..., before it was re-edited to diminish the "angry vagina lined with fangs" characteristics. Get the drift? (The first re-edit for home video Sarlaac- before the special edition's extra tentacles and Dune sandworm mouth.)

Great, Dave...send yourself off to bed with that imagery...

Joy'll need a water glass to wake me out of it -
"I was being yelled at by a leggy aryan-like Sarlaac Pit in an Ally McBeal suit. It kept berating me with "Whuuuut... does little Lukey Liberal need a hug?"And Boba Fett was agreeing with it and rooting it on, though bound by tentacles to the inner cheek of the thing like the old man in the dungeon in Pythom's Holy Grail. In a disappointed Outback Steakhouse voice thru his headset "Shtupid woynee Jed-oi... they's what's pussifoy'en this galaxy..."

2006-02-28T05:37:00.000-08:00

MOTHER NATURE'S ARMORY

A mail flyer for a whizbang new composting method reminded me of the walk Joy and I took last weekend thru the Arboretum. We walked around the way back and saw these 2 giant compost piles within a cinderblock enclosure to section it off.

I noticed that there was steam coming off these giant hills and Joy mentioned it was from the natural gases reacting during the composting process.

I'm sure in Joy's mind, it made her think of girlie things like how wonderful nature is that it can recycle, rejuvenate, and create even more fertile material for new life.

I thought "Ya know, I'll bet McGyver probably rigged one of these to explode naturally right when the enemy's Jeep came banking around it."

2006-02-27T06:29:00.000-08:00

Surgery To Become A Virgin Again.

Ya know, seeing this kind of thing happening gives a little legitimacy to the argument of fanatical Eastern religions who see Western culture as depraved, spoiled, and completely obsessed with sex.

It just gives them more reason to believe it's right to keep their wives and mothers bound and controlled so they can't eventually get this frickin stupid. Save your money, buy him some new golf clubs and do some Kegel exercises for Pete's sake...

As buddy Jan says:
"If you read carefully, you'll see that the main client for this is muslim women who've been fooling around before marriage and want to appear as if they've behaved like proper muslim ladies... or be put to death when their new husband finds out. Chalk another one up for the "Religion of Peace"!"

2006-02-26T15:58:00.000-08:00

Testing.

You can use ⌘-B and ⌘-I to make text bold and
italic.

'W' as in Talk.

2006-02-20T15:33:00.000-08:00

I think a reason older couples/happily married couples make it routine to go on walks is because for one it lets any discussion be had outside the house, so the house/home/HQ can be left to be a place of comfort and refuge from bullshit. Figure out stuff away from there. Let home be the safe spot -- where you work the plans you devised while walking outside/planning the work that might have needed doing.

And secondly, when you walk and talk, you actively expend the energy that you normally may have to allow for quick tempers, conclusion jumping, or overthinking the talker's words when you talk while still in the house. Sitting and sharing thoughts about something, it's alot easier to over compensate and interrupt or something. When you walk, your body(s) either want to walk and talk, or walk and listen. To talk at the same time is really fatigueing, add trudging along a path and it's really old.

That's the long version of: when you need to talk, do it by going for a walk.

You can't retreat to a room, you can't sulk in a couch, you can't possibly seem to ignore the other person doing kitchen stuff. It's just the 2 of you, moving. And I think subconciously the act of 'moving forward' helps any discussion had while walking. There's a tangible concept being exhibited that I think encourages better discussion. Move forward by walking, move forward in thought by talking while you walk. There's a physical manifestation of 'moving forward'. You just feel like you're getting somewhere in the conversation, even when you're confused or upset or feeling stuck in your mind. But you can feel progress in your body.

Also, talking about things while walking reinforces a dimension of perspective. If you're walking in the outside world, the world at large (and it is large) is surrounding you. Thus, the issue or discussion you're having is somewhat "smaller" in comparison. I.e. a problem doesn't seem so big in the scheme of things when it's a chat with an audible range of 20 feet -- a chat of 20 feet among AN ENTIRE PLANET of earth and air. There's your issue, then there's the entire world. Let the outside world help you remember that it is possible to contain this conversation and it's qualities. Let the overhead of the planet help you get your head around a problem. There's you, the issue, the world around it. Not some issue overhwhelming you and filling up your pad with bad joojoo energy. Or good joojoo energy. (Depends on the conversation.)

Another cool thing about it: when you hit a point walking/talking where you have to stop for a second to get a thought out, it really emphasizes the point; body language says "Hold on, I need to stop and stand and deliver this." No raised voice, no harsh word choices. Being stuck in a certain thought will stop the body. Your partner not only hears this but sees the physical "takeover" of the thought in you. They have to stop too. (Like a Jedi mind trick without instructing the action.) So the stoppage really brings home the point of "this is important, this a real blockage for me because it can't come out while walking. It needs a non-moving foundation to state itself from".

So you stop, get it out, make some comments. But when you take your time to slowly drive over that conversational bump so as not to wreck the undercarriage of the discussion per se, it feels even better when you start walking again. Because you *will* start walking again when your mind and body truly feel it's right to resume moving foward. Then immediatley you feel better. Your mind and body knows that you indeed moved on and are now progressing from the point that held you up.

Didn't the Romans or Greek elder councils walk among the columns in their togas while discussing major matters? Or was that some filmmakers's artistic license?

:*************************:

I don't know what your feelings on the band Train are, but in referring a friend to their new album, some stuff flowed out.

--

If you liked the Drops of Jupiter album that I raved about years ago, this new Train is back to that level being good. Just out this week.

To me they got the Sophomore Success Replication Anxiety out of their system and back to taking their time the way they naturally did. It breathes just right for what they do/are about. ('Calling All Angels' was ok). In Eastern thought and medicine, getting in touch with the natural rhythm of how you breathe is a huge key to personal balance and effectiveness. Music also breathes per the bandmembers input/execution of it and how their energy (while creating/feeling/performingit) flows and 'breathes' too.

The personalities of the songs/bandmembers are back in full again, not being consolidated and generically streamlined into a pale impersonation of itself by a label lackey producer on hire to deliver another hit album to the shareholders.

Which ironically, will let this album be a hit. So I'm calling it.
(Proof how many businessmen don't understand art and learn).

Just really good stuff. Better band than most people know. They're singles lumped them in Matchbox 20 stigma land (who by the way are an excellent group too.) Years ago Train made some headlines on some MTV tribute show where bands covered songs while the band that wrote them sat and watched. Train played 'Dream On' with Aerosmith in attendance and really brought the house down. Like even the paid/trained beautiful kids brought off the street to go nuts on cue for the bands even realized they saw something extraordinary. Steven Tyler remarked something along lines of "Holy Shit, and we wrote that?"

Train is a great band. Period.
Enjoy the new album.

2006-02-12T20:20:00.000-08:00

A Polish immigrant goes to the Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles in S. Chicago to apply for a driver's license and is told he has to take an eye test. The examiner shows him a card with the letters:

C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z

"Can you read this?" the examiner asks.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I drink beer with him."

::***************::

Uncle Owen died.

2006-02-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

A bunch of Indiana Jones'es found a new tomb in Egypt full of goodies and mummies.
Hearing they found a new chamber of the 'Valley of Kings' is just way cool. This is the first tomb like this found since King Tut's in 1922.

::***************::

Keeping with the Lucasfilm theme, if you thought terrible lame tie-ins with pop music acts and movies is a recent thing, here's a clip of Jefferson Starship playing Light The Sky On Fire from the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special.

I always heard Grace Slick never said no to anything. Add "Wookie MTV" to the list of hallucinogens and anonymous groupie penis.

You can also hear Princess Leia and Bea Arthur sing their numbers from the special too if you follow the link above.

2006-02-02T22:01:00.000-08:00

Sammy Hagar and David Lee reuniting in space.

The original Asia is reuniting. Wetton, Downes, Palmer, and Howe.

Facts on Farts

Turn the volume down, jerko.
Timmy says the iPod is defectively designed and causes hearing loss, so thus, give him money.

If you ever got to play the ultra cool and fun Xbox game Lego Star Wars, there's a new one coming that stays in just the original trilogy. (The first game covered all 6 movies.) Follow the link to see a sweet Lego mockup of the original classic Star Wars movie poster.

Speaking of which, my oldest friend 'Star Wars Mike' (since Kindergarten so 30 years now) had a birthday today/yesterday I guess now. Feb 2, which is Groundhog Day and also Farrah Fawcett's birthday. Sharing a birthday with her was a pretty big deal back in 6th grade/1982.

2006-01-26T06:47:00.000-08:00

My buddy Jan sent some gems from Business 2.0 magazine's '101 Dumbest Moments in Business 2005...'

Enjoy -

44. In July, Burger King launches an ad campaign for its new Chicken Fries featuring a faux heavy-metal band called CoqRoq. Coqroq.com initially features photos of female fans captioned "Groupies love the Coq." After the captions are removed, Burger King spokeswoman Edna Johnson tells Advertising Age that they were written and assigned randomly by computer software that has since been disabled.

36. The winner of the American Airlines "We Know Why You Fly" contest, which
promised to award 24 round-trip tickets to the traveler who submitted the
best video about his airborne experiences, turns down the grand prize. Why?
Because American fails to cover the winner's federal, state, and local
income taxes, which amount to about $19,000, or $800 per ticket.

50. In December, job recruiter J-Com's IPO in Tokyo goes awry when a trader
for Mizuho Securities types in an order to sell 610,000 shares at 1 yen
(less than a penny) per share instead of the intended 1 share at 610,000 yen
(about $5,000). Though the order is for 41 times the number of outstanding
shares, the Tokyo Stock Exchange insists that the order be processed as
entered. Mizuho loses at least 27 billion yen ($225 million) on the typo, an
amount nearly equal to its entire profit for the prior fiscal year.

47. Developers in Chatham, England, announce plans for Dickens World, a $100 million theme park based on the life and times of Charles Dickens.

56. A Qantas Airways baggage handler is suspended after he's caught opening
a passenger's luggage, discovering a camel costume, donning the head, and
driving around the tarmac on a baggage cart at Sydney Airport. The incident
is reported by the costume's owner, who spies the culprit through the window
of the terminal.

61. Florida-based Goosebumps Products, a maker of gel-filled shoe inserts,
sues supplier Bell Chem Corp., claiming that, by delivering the wrong
chemical, it had caused bubbles to form in the insoles that emit "a
flatulence-like noise" with each step. Goosebumps is forced to dispose of at
least 35,000 pairs and soon goes out of business.

63. The Iowa Pork Producers Association announces that it may retire a
contest used to promote its product -- due to the lack of interest among
young Iowa women in being designated "Pork Queen."

64. Blaming a mailing-list vendor for providing bad information, JPMorgan
Chase apologizes for sending a form letter about its credit card services to
an Arab American man in California addressed to "Palestinian Bomber."

72. Prior to their home opener against the Pistons, as Detroit's starting
lineup is being introduced, the NBA's Sacramento Kings flash images from the
Motor City on the scoreboard: abandoned buildings, burned-out cars, piles of
rubble, etc. Three days later, the Kings' owners take out a full-page ad in
the Detroit Free Press acknowledging "the incredibly positive impact the
Motor City has made over the course of our country's history."

73. The proprietors of the Erotic City strip club in Boise, Idaho, attempt
to circumvent a local law banning nudity except for performances of "serious
artistic merit" by distributing sketch pads and pencils to customers for
twice-weekly G-string-free "art" nights.

87. On the heels of a popular documentary about the Queen rock anthem
"Bohemian Rhapsody," BBC television decides its next subject will be the Bob
Marley classic "No Woman, No Cry." An e-mail is duly dispatched to the Bob
Marley Foundation, requesting an interview with the reggae star, since the
documentary "would only work with some participation from Bob Marley
himself." The e-mail also says producers would like for Marley to spend "one
or two days with us" at his convenience: "Our schedule is flexible." Marley
is less flexible. He died in 1981.

93. With the help of Latin pop sensation Thalia Sodi, Hershey introduces
Cajeta Elegancita, a new candy bar for the Hispanic market. In Mexico,
"cajeta" can be used to mean "nougat." Elsewhere in the Spanish-speaking
world, however, it's slang for female anatomy. Just suffice it to say that
the literal translation of the Spanish word cajeta is "little box."

98. A few weeks after eZiba.com sends out its winter catalog, the call
center's pin-drop silence begins to worry execs. As it turns out, a bug in a
program designed to identify the best prospects on eZiba's mailing list led
to the catalog instead being sent to those deemed least likely to respond.
"Sadly, our probability estimates were correct," says eZiba founder Dick
Sabot

101. In September, as the result of a typo in a spreadsheet, Electronic Arts
issues an update to Madden NFL 06 that reduces 6-foot-3, 305-pound New York
Jets lineman Michael King to a height of 7 inches. The next day, EA fixes
the bug -- to a chorus of complaints from customers who enjoyed watching the
shin-high blocker get steamrollered by full-size players

2006-01-25T07:07:00.000-08:00

Check out this 8 year old kid playing most of Eddie Van Halen's 'Eruption' solo.

::****************::

Can't not help think of George Carlin's rants on why aliens don't think we're ready for a house call and higher awareness when I read about the eBay crap regarding that poor British whale who got lost.

Someone pass the cheese in a spray can, and get me my sneakers with lights in them. I need to fuel up before picking up the latest happenin's on Britney and Federfuck from the checkout aisle mag rack.

::***************::

If you like invigorating swing/big band jazz, and heard of Buddy Rich the famous drummer (but never got to hear why he was so great), pick up this live album. One of his bandmembers was recording their shows on stage and put this out recently. And what's cool is that most of the performances are from gigs in Detroit back in the 70s. (One tune is from Dexter, MI of all places!)

It's fiery, hungry, and Buddy's playing his ass off. The band is killer as well, with soloists just tearing the roof off. (Buddy nicknamed this band his 'Killer Force' Band.) The album is a great example of how he drove a band. If you do your history, when the Bonham's, Moon's, Peart's, and Copeland's were growing up, Buddy Rich was their Drum Hero. And you'll hear many of the same 'isms' in their playing that came from Buddy. Especially Bonham kicking the daylights out of his bass drum.

Kneel before The Prez'.

2006-01-18T11:34:00.000-08:00

General Zod for President.
Check out his campaign site.

Mine!

2006-01-06T13:24:00.000-08:00

I'm calling it right now so I can prove it later.

I say when Britney finally dumps that douchebag Kevin Federline, the media's nickname for him will be "Fed Ex."

There.

Search Results

2006-01-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

Though actor's may hate being typecast for one popular role they happened to be in, with the internet search technology of today, do you think being typecast will utlimately help the careers of many actors? I mean, really, if someone can GoogleImage search on 'Dean Wormer' from Animal House and get a funny pic of John Vernon, doesn't that just help cement John's place in film history even more? Which is what actors want in the first place, right? Yes, they want to be known for ALL their roles, but can it be argued that being typecast nowadays really just guarantees stronger and more abundant search results?

And isn't 'search results' the seemingly most important thing anyone can possible hope to triumph with in technology these days? If people (i.e. consumers/customers) can't easily find what they're looking for, you're web presence "sucks", right? People get paid to help companies develop a stronger web presense so surfers can find a company's site better. Hear any of the Network Solutions radio ads with former 007 Pierce Brosnan helping a fly fisherman (and a really bad voice-over impression of one I might add) help sell his lures? If someone can easily find a pic of a famous character, the one-click jump to learning so much more about the actor is easier than ever before. Which allows for potential deeper understanding of that actor's work. Which can help with more work.

In other words, a casting director with a laptop can quickly find out if the dumb jock from American Pie (who she thinks looks right for a serious role) has actually done any serious roles too.

Kinda fun to think on that at time when more information is already available to more people than at any other time in human history, the demand for assistance in helping people find what they're looking for is still a growing race. I guess all the centuries of poetry and philosophy on how people always search and yearn for understanding is just proving itself again. But with digital 1's and 0's.

I guess it won't stop till we finally invent the Star Trek Holodeck that also taps into your brainwaves so you see and interact with a 3-D holographic display of your own subconcious. Walk around in your mind, your memories and experience suddenly a museum tour with really good robots acting out how things happened.

And any question that comes to you regarding, say, why you pick your nose, or date unhealthy people will suddenly appear to you like you're watching a stage play of your own childhood. Seeing yourself as a toddler dip your finger in grape jam and then up your nose making the connection that "inside of my nose = candy." Or you see every instance of your household growing up and how your parents interacted with each other which became your default template of understanding 'what Men and Women do around each other'.

Its all about 'search results'.

::----------------::
::----------------::

I'm finally watching the fantastic new Battlesar Galactica series on Sci-Fi channel. When the pilot came out 2 years ago, I ranted and raved to friends how awesome it was. Then the series got greenlight, the show's 2.5 seasons in and I just this week started watching the series. Ironically, friends who were a little doubtful of the show based on the pilot are now BG junkies with 2 seasons up on me. But pal Star Wars Mike got me the BG season 1 dvd's for Christmas and Joy and I are playing catchup. Man is it good stuff. Best/most tasteful sci-fi special effects I've seen in a long time. Sweet writing.

::----------------::
::----------------::

Did Pat Boone take over the world?

If you google image search on homey or homeboy, all you get is pics of boring white people and babies. A few actually are trying to strike a pimp/homey "wassup?" pose.

What the hell's going on? Can't a guy find a decent rapper stereotype picture on the web anymore?

Eh, Happy New Year

2005-12-31T22:05:00.000-08:00

MITTENS OFF.

Like my earlier post this year about Joy's saying that Billy Bob Thornton should just admit to being the dirty old man he really he is so we can celebrate with him, I'd like to say that Mariah Carey needs to let her Inner Aretha/Soul Diva out and let the chub take overt he capitol building. The chub has already taken over the borders and shipping routes (hips and the under-bicep flab wiggles) and by this time next year her cheekbones and jawline won't look thin enough on camera (with strategic blush) to shade in strong jawbone lines for the TV. At some point every true Diva must admit that hitting the notes makes up for not hitting the gym anymore.

Just go with it honey, it can never get *that* bad. Even Liza still has thousands of New York drag queens worshipping her till she dies. Even though these days when she hears "Minelli!" screamed at her on the street, she politely replies back "no thanks but I doesn't eat pasta anymore."

**************

Yes, Ryan Seacrest will be the new/next Dick Clark. What the hell else can he do?

**************

I've seen 'The Big Lebowski" so many times I lost count. And even tonight I noticed a new layer of writing brilliance with that film/script.

**************

I love how the Bangles are on Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve every year.

**************

White Russians are awesome. Especially when you're on your 4th when you start blogging.

**************
'
2005 sucked ass. Big, ripe, cabbage-and-broccoli/cauliflower-diet ass. Light but putrid, like 'heavy ink-saturated plastic stuff on fire' ripe ass; Dog turd in the shoe sole, first girlfiend dumping you, one number off from winning thousands with a lotto ticket, wedgie in public, identity theft, Dick Clark strokin', food poisoning, tsunami apocalypse, Jar Jar, paying for unnecessary car repairs, favorite band flaking out, no more beer, religous fundafanaticism RIPE ASS.

**************

Hey! Like, 4 months till Spring dude!

**************

This year I turn 35 and leave the coveted 18-34 demographic target. I am officially considered uncool and worthless to the U.S consumer corporate nation-state. Unless my future kids wish to drink liquid plastic from wax snack tubes and play in my ultra clean living room being scented with plug-in toxic waste diluted down to a slow gas with chemical agent GX720 (who's label reads "smells citrus-ey") which also keeps my electric bill constant.

All we read about is how pheromones are what really attract people, but all the beautiful people wear overpriced perfume and zap the ions from their home's atmosphere to eradicate odor and replace it with clean scents. How are we supposed to get horny and know our mate's want it when our suburban biosphere kills every airborne spanish fly agent? Pat Robertson wants us to assasinate dictators, but not feel the need to reproduce more 700 Club members? I don't get it.

**************

2006 is big for me. The last 5 years have been an amorphous glob of time in my head. 2000, 2001, 2, 3, 4, 5 has always been in my head just another year of the millenium....hitting 2000. But since 6 is closer to 10 than it is to 0, 2006 finally feels to me like the Oo! Ah! of the millenium has lifted. It's no longer just a little past 2000/The Millenium, but the second half of a decade. I remember my life thus far per decade and can remember significant perceptionary shifts for each year. But 2000 to now has been one big cantelope. I always hated on Wild Kingdom how the lions would chase, catch and eat the cantelope. But Dad told me it was good I understand how nature really works.

The Producers

2005-12-26T19:47:00.000-08:00

Here's why you should go see the new 'The Producers' movie.
(The one with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick -- the film version of the Broadway version of the original 1968 Mel Brooks film.)

First of all, because it's terrific.

Secondly and most importantly if you're a Mel Brooks fan, it's important you see this movie.

Why?

Some backstory...
One fun drunken night in college, a thought came to me which I scribbled on one of the supporting 2 by 4's of Zac Johnson's apartment bunk loft. It was:

"When you begin to remember the beginning of the moment, the moment is about to run out."

I'm still honing and massaging this little aphorism of mine grammar-wise, but the jist is: when something's about to come to it's natural end, it begins to revert back or get in touch with it's roots and beginning pure state(s). A good example is like when say you're at a party and having a conversation with a stranger you just met. For a few minutes the conversation keeps your attention a little via politeness and introductory banter, then both of you reach a point where there's nothing more to talk about. Uncomfortable pauses, searching for transitional topics for something interesting again, no common ground was reached to take the chat another level. No new sparks of interest arise. Then you find yourself daydreaming a little, remembering what you first started talking about/what got you into the conversation in the first place. You start remembering the beginning of that moment. And usually by this point, it's obvious that the moment of interaction is about to expire. One of you will excuse yourself for a bathroom visit or another drink. It's when you start remembering the beginning that seems to be the signal that the end is near.

So here's what I'm seeing:

This new Producers is the best Mel Brooks movie in a long time. Because it's the same recipe that made the classic Brooks movies (The 1968 Producers, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, History of the World) what they were - trained actors from vaudeville and stage who honed the subtleties of live comedy via those performance venues, mastering the exquisite timing and nuances needed to pull it off right. And Mel put them in one space together, aimed the camera and told them "Go!". Like Hitchcock movies, the actors delivered whole scenes in one frame, or with two cameras for each viewpoint. It was not a mechanical volley of separately filmed closeups between the two actors. We saw the actors acting to each other. It was essentially live stage comedy with a camera recording it. Think the old Carol Burnett show on TV.

I said for years that the reason "Spaceballs" and following Brooks movies were not as great as Blazing Saddles was because the primary actors were not trained like the Harvey Korman's, Gene Wilder's, (and Mel Brook's himself.) They paid their comedy dues in front of live audiences. Who do we remember from Spaceballs as being hilarious? Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet and John Candy as the dog/Chewbacca character. Hmmm... those guys were in SCTV a.k.a Second City TV i.e. The Second City LIVE improv comedy group. Bling Blam Traffic Jam! there's your live comedy stage training. No offense but Bill Pullman and Daphne Zuniga were just impotent in that movie. That's right, impotent with a missing capitol R. Joan Rivers, a veteran live standup comedienne VOICED the female C3PO robot character in that movie and had funnier deliveries than Bill and Daphne put together.

Anyway...
Point is, how cosmically ironic and wonderful:
Mel Brooks FIRST movie (The 1968 Producers utilizing this recipe that starts his film success), he gets a string of classics, then he and his trusted stable of stage actors are replaced with younger/mostly-film actors and his movies start to lose their potency? The comedy timing has to come from quick edits to punch the lines, not the actor's comedy chops or stellar characterizations.

Then fast-forward 30some years and someone gets the idea to take the '68 Producers, adapt it TO THE STAGE, it becomes the biggest hit on Broadway in the beginning of the millenium, then someone greenlights to make a new film version OF THE STAGE PLAY, which was based off the MOVIE that used STAGE techniques??!! Some things protect themselves by being what they are.

I see this as the beauty and genius of Mel Brooks finding it's way back to itself. And this movie feels like a Mel Brooks film. Susan Strohman who directed the Broadway stage show directs the movie, yet Mel helped and the material is pure Mel and it's there. Susan understands Brooks. The movie is filled with the love of life and it's natural hilarity that Mel brought to audiences all along.

So back to my little aphorism -- and I say this with all respect and love, intending no gloom...

Mel is not getting any younger. His beloved wife Ann Bancroft (Mrs. Robinson of 'The Graduate') died in 2005, 30+ years together and reports were it just crushed him. What made Mel Brooks and his movies so loved and treasured has been returned to the world via the original vehicle that started it all for him. His humor, his recipe, his love of life and comedy, delivered by professionals who have the chops to do it justice because they trained in comedy the same way Mel's contemporaries did back in his day.

By this new Producers coming to us, we see the beginning of the Mel Brooks "Moment". And as life and the universe goes in circles, we're coming back around the 'Mel Brooks Circle' to remember the beginning of that "Moment."(Study atoms and the orbiting nature of it's components, then build up all matter from that circular orbiting action.) A take on the concept of "coming full circle." We're seeing the beginning of the moment, which may mean it's about to run out.

I hate to say it, but my heart and mind fears that for Mel, the Great Master of Ceremonies for the Variety Show in the Sky might decide that Mission has been Accomplished and ask Mel to come start writing for his old buddies trying to put a new show together up there.

Go see this new Producers. The cast is perfect, you'll be reminded how fantastic Nathan Lane is, why you respect Matthew Broderick, and yet again how much Uma Thurman can surprise you with talent you never knew she had.

And stick around through all the credits, there's a great treat at the very very very end of the film. If this blog of mine made sense to you as a Mel Brooks fan (or even not), you'll be glad you did.

Eat Poop, Visit Mars

2005-12-15T11:46:00.000-08:00

Bacteria Eat Human Sewage, Produce Rocket Fuel

2005-12-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

Seems everyone wants Matt Millen fired.

In regards to bad management, I once heard someone comment "that a dead fish stinks from the head down."

2005-12-14T07:02:00.000-08:00

The Detroit Lions

Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super
Bowl?
A: The Detroit Lions.

Q: What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."

Q: How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A: To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there.

Q: What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: Why doesn't Grand Rapids have a professional football team?
A: Because then Detroit would want one.

Q: What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q: What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

<<*******************>>

This chick skydived for the first time, the parachute didn't fully open, she hit the ground face-first at 50 mph. Lived. And was also pregnant. The baby's fine, she's fine, some borken bones.

You bet I'm sauced!

2005-12-06T00:07:00.000-08:00

If you can't rock it to Night Ranger. you poor soul. I'm so sorry.
"[3] in the mornin', came without a warnin',
Everybody's gotta place to be"

The Holidays

2005-12-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

It's a wonderful thing driving casually around your hometown near midnight, having left the bar warm and renewed from seeing good friends and defeating tall beers, and a surprise night-time snow has whitened the roads. If some old songs you grew up with are on the radio, even better.

Happy Friday

2005-12-02T06:22:00.000-08:00

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to
her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just
pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

::******************::

Someone finally put a good tiny camera in a slot car race car so we could see what it actually looks like to shrink down and ride that track.

Wax Off.

2005-11-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

Pat Morita aka Arnold from Happy Days and Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid died.
Fascinating background story about his life. He saw some serious b.s. in his day.

He was cool.

::*******************::
Some Funny Serendipity

No joke, so I'm checking out compilation of Frank Zappa tunes put together by the drummer of Phish, and while listening to the song "I'm The Slime", a delicious anti/warning song about television, I click over to the onion.com and start reading this article.

Nooooo shit Frank...

Turkey's Comin'

2005-11-21T21:06:00.000-08:00

Ted Koppel does his last Nightline tonight, Tuesday 11/22.
In one year we say bye bye to Rather, Brokaw, Jennings, and now finally Koppel.

A terrific Charlie Rose with Ted on tonight, spanning multiple Ted segments over the years on Charlie Rose.

What anchors of today are really befitting the term when it comes news? In this day and age of fashionable cynical contempt for the media, it's political leanings or affiliations, and it's ferocious Bottom-Line-Or-Die marketing agenda, will the American viewing audience possibly trust their next wave of prime time news anchors as much as they might have with this departing crew?

::==========================::

Would it be cool to ride the rides at Cedar Point in the middle of winter, so when you're racing up, down, and along the rails there's snow flying past you quite fast? Shards of broken snow zipping over your head. You'd have to bumble up like an old WWII fighter pilot with goggles and helmet and scarf to withstand the cold rush of air.

Like when it snows big wet slow flakes and the suburban road street lights let you see the snow blossomng down and at your windshield. It's like your jumping into lightspeed in the Millenium Falcon.

**==========================**

2005-11-09T07:13:00.000-08:00

My department at work takes turns bringing in better coffee to avoid the freeze-dried company supplied stuff. While opening a new canister of coffee beans this morning at work , I joked to a coworker that "revolutions usually start with the coffee."

But then I thought on it a moment.

Really, do you think throughout history that when the oppressed masses gather in the subterannean rooms to plot the uprising, that there's been an especially astute matronly member of the Resistance actually thinking "these/my people have endured enough...at least I can get some good goddamn coffee for the meeting."?

Or, in a show of 'keeping it real', they resort to integrity-keeping measures (like Eddie Vedder sleeping in his van for awhile after Pearl Jam made millions) and drink the really bad stuff? To retain their grit to keep their cause pure, ya know.

Then again, if all this fuss is about not being oppressed, why is there someone delegated to making coffee in the first place? Who's speaking up for the kitchen ladies? Getting to the lair early to make the bread for the members, keeping the coffee tins filled during the speeches, emptying the ash trays after the meeting so it doesn't stink like cold dank shit when they come next time. (How many revolutionaries you ever see not smoking? Being pawns of the State tweeks a person.)

You make sure an' teach your kids to honor the hell out of the Lunch Lady at their school. Tell Junior to say "thanks...Comrade" with a knowing wink after Mrs. Krupski wipes up the milk that Kevin made Josh laugh out his nose.

*************

Ya know when you see young, liberated, anti-fashion women in their 20s doing the hippy-chick, rag-a-muffin look with the mishmash of hand-me-down Grandma clothes from Value Village?

What did the hippy-chick, rag-a-muffin girls of the early pioneer times wear? Ya know, when these kind of clothes were actually the 1.0 version of themselves? Did they wear tattered old Revoluton or Civil War uniforms to the saloon?

*************

The J. Geils Band should be a permanent Artist-In-Residence at Bonnaroo. Every year.
Think about it. It makes total sense.

Sooooopa Toooooosday

2005-11-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

Midnight tonight we might have that Coleman Young-legacy a-hole Kwame Kilpatrick out of Detroit's mayor office. He and his loudmouth Momma.

This guy will tell you. He rewrote lyrics against Kwame using 'Baby Got Back' but its "Kwame Got Fat". It's really bad. But one of those train wreck bads because you can't stop listening to see how much worse it is. (You can hear the real Sir Mixalot version in the background he's singing over.)

**********

Anyway the real reason I'm here:

"E"MAIL IS FOR "EXIT" MAIL.

Ever heard of the Peter Chung email?
Now you will.

New old Yoda

2005-11-03T21:58:00.000-08:00

Weeks back I mentioned that the Star Wars people were going back and putting a CG Yoda into Phantom Menace, replacing the puppet. (All 6 films are coming back out again starting in 2007, in 3-D. One a year for 6 years, all the episodes in order.) You can see some of their work on this CG Yoda with the Ep 3 DVD special features disk.

During the 'Chosen One' feature on Anakin/Vader, they show the clip of Yoda again saying his speech: "Fear is the path to the dark side...fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, etc etc..." It's the CG Yoda.

It looks great.

We WILL Be Beaming To Places, Like In Star Trek.

2005-11-02T21:32:00.000-08:00

Just you watch.
We're already slowing down light to fill it full of information and data.

You know who already slows down light and makes it do cool crazy shit?
Dudes that take on the X-Men and shit... or Palpatine and chicks in Fantastic Foursomes.

You think I'm lying?

Let's take bets on this:
The iPod gets smaller and smaller. We already have chips in dog's ears to track them. Like that technology, Apple will first create sensors that allow us to clench our jaw, twitch a cheek muscle, blink a few times to shuffle the playlists, go to the next song, etc. The little doodad to do this will start as a little chip or sensor (like the sensors in smoke alarms...a band of mine years ago, we made some to simulate drum triggers for midi. They were more sensitive than $5000 dollar jobs at GUitar Center.)

This stuff will be the bridge that gets us to triggering technology in ways that in sci-fi movies was portrayed as using telepathic ability. Using chips to sense the super subtle nerve and muscle twitches to make some technology "do our bidding" will be as though we were "controlling it with our mind."

The technology that takes over in the bad Orwellian ways always starts out as fun doodad gadget stuff.

I'm tellin' ya, read this book.

************

In cooler news, it's that time of year when I can drink my favorite beer of all time, Sam Adams Cranberry Lambic, a seasonal only. I used to drink 22's of this in college. Now it can only be obtained via buying a 12pack of the holiday sampler, so I only get 2 bottles per 12pack. Damn it.

So good though. Try it.

2005-11-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't love a farting preacher?

****************

Sitting in the allergy clinic this morning and thumbing thru a NEWSWEEK about the scandals with Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, and the other rich businessmen advising our President (and the messes it sure seems to be uncovering), it was ironic to see today's entry from my George Carlin desk calendar today:

"If everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don't have people like that. Everyone's at the mall, scratching their balls, and buying sneakers with lights in them. And complaining about the politicians."

2005-11-01T07:04:00.000-08:00

Check out this soccer dude hitting the crossbar of the goal every time. From the outside box.
(Takes a sec while puts shoes on in beginning. Wait for it.)

************

Well, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith came out today. All 6 movies are now in the hands of geeks everywhere. Now we can take George up on his claim of "it's one long story you have to take in all at once." We'll see. I'm sure it's cool.

************

I did not do up Halloween like I wished I would have this year. I'm quite bummed about this and disappointed in myself. Especially after finding an email I sent myself of what I should have dressed up as. It would have been perfect. So next year then. Glad you know this, aren't you?

***********

RadioShack is making (or made) a nice comeback. The store I was in last night was pretty hip. They hired a team to take the GeekDrab "white walls and hooks" aesthetic out and make the store more pleasant on the eyes while you're shopping. Some color, ya know. I grew up with these stores so they have a weird place in my heart kinda; my Dad was an electrical engineer so per whatever project he was working on, there were lots of runs to RadioShack back in my way younger years. That was OUR hardware store to run to on weekends. Remember when computers in the early 80s were coming out, like Atari 800XL and the Commodore 64? But do you remember RadioShack's line of computers just like them but with the orange text fonts on the black screen? Like the computers in WarGames that Broderick was using, but with ORANGE font? Seems pretty cool now eh? Back then it was like "what, you expect me to buy this obvious lowgrade computer? Thes eletters are orange!"

Like my dumb 10 year old ass knew what a computer did or that orange font made a difference to anything. I bet though if I made a black t-shirt with dot-matrix orange font across it saying 'radio shack', I'd get some serious mock-retro cred. I'd be so hip Ashton would have to punk me. I wouldn't even need a Miller Light trucker cap to get in the club. Bruce Willis would be snorting coke off MY tits in the Champagne Room.

As an annoyed Fenster would say: "Whutda fah?..."

Feels Like The First Time

2005-10-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

While thinking on some inner band dynamic stuff goin on with the group I play in (we just had our first two gigs this month, after 5 months of practicing) it occured to me that the first gig of a band is akin in ways to the first time a couple has sex.

Like any scenario of cherries being popped, once a band (or a couple) go thru that, it changes everything -- People got all worked up beforehand, then in the act made themselves vulnerable, put their pride, ego, talent and ability on the line, then afterwards have all kinds of thoughts about how they performed, how it went over, worrying about what the other(s) thought of it, and then they start ruminating about all kinds of extra petty dramatic stuff afterwards -- An exagerated, hindsight laundry list of how they perceived the act/show really went over.

Suddenly all this personal stuff can come up about who thinks something about it should be more like this or that, who isn't delivering what's needed, who needs to ante up or back off, and most importantly, if this is going to continue, there's a whole bunch of other stuff (never brought up before, but obviously thought of all along) that now needs to be addressed before next time or someone's gonna quit.

Think about that angle the next time you hear a musician say "Oh yeah, bands are like relationships." If you're a musician, remember this after you play your first gig and see what conversations (unlike any had before the first gig) erupt.

2005-10-24T12:40:00.000-07:00

Hearing that Green Day's new concert DVD movie is being screened in theaters across the country this week one night, the thought came to me...

Won't it be cool when in another 20 years when the "stolen" home sex video of 2024's "Pam & Tommy"-esque celeb couple will probably be an ad before the movie you go see? Live feeds from hospitals around the world, you can be watching the Gone With The Wind 100 anniversary theater screening and some baby popping out of Madonna's daughter cuts in on widescreen glory. Cuz People and Us Weekly will own and operate anything that recorded or photographed anything, including it's delivery systems. People will own Einstein's light.

People will own Einstein's light.
I think I muttered that passed out and seatbelted in upright in a the backseat of '87 Chevette during a drinking night in high school. While my friends went bowling. No, wait. I muttered "I go Bob Brant college..." That was after I drunkenly sauntered around the McDonal's drivethru lane (next to the bowling alley), to go lay over the back tailfin of a parked car opposite of the drivethru window (and the headset wearing crews watching me.) Then I puked my brains out while they hurriedly shut the order window screaming "Eeewwww!". Yes, I gave them the ol' Caddyshack "Spalding" treatment, like when he puked in the Doctor's Porsche.

After that is when I got secured in the car.

Backpack fulla' Boom

2005-10-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

Did you know a kid blew himself up outside a University of Oklahoma football game this past month?

He tried to get in the stadium, but was turned away when he refused to show his backpack contents to the guards. So he went and sat on a bench outside and hit the trigger.

Why wasn't this been around the news?

And we got undercover camera teams getting into nuclear reactors very very easily around the country's universitys.
They sent hot chicks into the nuclear labs on campus and they got all the way to the gold, even took pictures and were left alone next to the reactor allegeldy. But when they started taking pics outside of the library on campus, THEN the campus security came around asked what they were up to.

Excuse me?

[Some friends toldme the bomb story link was asking for registration. Anyway here it is. Just to back myseld up, if you go to dallasnews.com, search on 'Mark Davis, oklahoma' in the search, you'll get the link to this story.]

Mark Davis:
Media might be missing a story and ignoring a terrorist

06:06 PM CDT on Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Imagine a man with a bomb strapped to his body making his way into a packed football stadium, reaching his seat and blowing himself up.

There would be a heavy death toll in what would be the first successful terrorist act on U.S. soil since 9-11.

Jolting us back to memories of the Oklahoma City bombing, this would obviously be a massive headline in our ongoing war on terror. One would think attention would be heightened even further if such a story were to occur again in Oklahoma.

Well, there's reason to believe it nearly happened, and it was indeed in Oklahoma, making the paltry coverage of the story unfathomable.

On Oct. 1, as the Oklahoma Sooners hosted Kansas State in front of 84,000 fans, University of Oklahoma student Joel Hinrichs III blew himself up outside the stadium.

There is evidence that he sought to enter the game and was turned away by security after refusing to allow his backpack to be searched. Some minutes later, that backpack, containing the chosen explosive of shoe bomber Richard Reid and the London subway bombers, exploded, killing Mr. Hinrichs as he sat on a bench.

There have been some dutiful print and broadcast accounts of this event, all leaning heavily on the favored establishment take – that this was a troubled young man who sought only to kill himself, simply doing so in an offbeat way.

Oh, really?

Well, what if the young man had a Pakistani roommate? What if he had been spending time at the Islamic Center of Norman, Okla., once frequented by "20th hijacker" Zacarias Moussaoui? What if the warrant used in the search of the bomber's apartment had been sealed by federal authorities?

What if explosives had been found in that apartment? What if the young man had tried to purchase ammonium nitrate, the chosen explosive of Tim McVeigh, at a Norman feed store days earlier?

That's a lot of what ifs, and they range from the confirmed to the unconfirmed. But the parts we do know – the Pakistani roommate, the attempted fertilizer purchase, the veil of secrecy around the investigation – should be enough to cast doubt on the simplistic "troubled young man" theory favored by, among others, OU's nervous president, David Boren.

Mr. Hinrichs' father told me his son was not the type to join radical causes and would not want to hurt anyone. But his son's chosen method – blowing himself up in a public place – would seem to cast doubt on his concern for his fellow man.

As for the terrorist angle, Mr. Hinrichs is now the subject of understandably intense scrutiny, virtually none of it from the mainstream media. You might think the story fizzled because there was, in fact, no death beyond the bomber. True enough, but I'd suggest that if a raid revealed some radical plan to bomb an abortion clinic anywhere in America, the suspects would be household names by nightfall without a single fuse lit.

Something about the nature of this event has swallowed almost whole the normal curiosity one would expect from the usual sources.

Is it political, because acknowledging a terror threat on our soil might bolster President Bush's war logic? Is it economic, out of fear of scaring people away from football games? Is it geographic snobbery because it didn't happen on either coast? Or is it a PC fear of seeming to lunge toward a jihadist angle?

Whatever the reason, hunting for details of this shocking story puts you in some offbeat company.

Jayna Davis is a writer who has spent years documenting what she asserts is an Islamic connection to the Oklahoma City bombing. She has a fan in Douglas Hagmann, director of an outfit called the Northeastern Intelligence Network, whose Web site (homelandsecurityus.com) has a conspiracy geek vibe that might spark scoffing.

But the fact of the matter is that these people are breaking fresh news on this story that only later winds up in more conventional news outlets.

I'm not calling for a leap to the conclusion that Mr. Hinrichs was another in a series of Caucasians pressed into service by terror cells for their undercover value. But it seems equally unwise to shrug dismissively at the possibility.

The Mark Davis Show is heard weekdays on News/Talk 820 WBAP and nationwide on the ABC Radio Network. WBAP airtime is 9 a.m. to noon. His column appears Wednesdays on Viewpoints, and his e-mail address is mdavis@ wbap.com.

2005-10-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

Check out this awesome beer ad.
I think it won Ad of the Year.

RA(N)TZ

2005-10-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

A thought occured to me that I been crunching the numbers on the past few days, applying all kinds of scenarios to see what might not apply -

Seems like it's easier to get into something than out of;
Troubles, a parking spot, cats in tree's, problems, relationships, under the sink (more effort not to bonk your head crawling out), debt, the attic, clubs.

I guess getting into a country is harder than getting out. They check for what you might be bringing in. People are like countries. They resist new people coming into their area without a sufficient (psycho-emotional) luggage and security check of their own. Some people who let anyone in over time probably get a lot troublemakers in their 'country'. People who take the time to not let them in so easily see how much attitude, fidgety-ness, or complaining comes as they wait in the security checkpoint. The guards (when doing their job well) react more favorably to people who take the time to consider the guard's job and mindset, so they have their boarding passes out and i.d. ready. Taking the time to understand what they can do to help the check-in go easier and create a sense of mutual respect.

I didn't drive in thinking I'd attempt to connect how people conduct themselves in airport security with how they react to starting a relationship with someone, but hey, that's America. Not sure what aspect of human nature this would correlate too perhaps, but watching people in their 50s react to removing their shoes at the security check (like it's some frighteningly new wrecking ball to their mental architecture) fascinates me. Or when they stand next to signs and hear the attendants screaming it to keep their boarding pass out. Yet they get up to the security check, are asked for the boarding pass, and get all mad and flustered at the guards asking them to go back down 10 leagues into their purse to get the boarding pass.

Make your life easier, wear button shirts with a breast pocket. Put your i.d. and your boarding pass there. Anywhere you need it, you reach in, pull out it out, put it back, move on. We love James Bond being prepared and smooth with all his paperwork and gadgets at the ready. Why don't we make the connection that we can do that too? Our jeans have more pockets that 007's suit for Christ's sake. God knows our lipstick, inhalers, wallets, paperback edition of 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People', our Tony Robbins audiobook, and gum is in the outer quick-access pocket of our shoulder bags. We chose to wear comfy loose fitting clothing for sitting in a cramped airplane. Yet 4 YEARS after 9/11, and the hundreds of thousands of flights that have occured since then, people are still gaping at their spouses in annoyed surprised bruised-ego awe as though the guard asked Grandma to pop her top when asked to put her change and keys in the busboy tub, and kick off her shoes. If everyone is so sick of the security checkout point, why then does almost everyone not tweek their own behavior one half ounce's worth to make it go smooth???

Most people have flown at least a few times. Is it so hard to take 8 seconds at your house while packing to 'Desperate Housewives' to remember the flow of operations thru an airport from your last visit, and get prepared accordingly? I guess it is when your TV spews commercials of adult-age empowered brats demanding how they want and demand their bank, coffee, eye-glasses, microwave dinner, hair conditioner, auto financing, and herpes medicine to meet THEIR terms and be THEIR way. And if you wear a scarf, red leggings and some Lisa Loeb glasses, your fashion sense must mean you're serious and deserve coddling cuz you're so hip.

This is the result folks. This is what happens when the screaming kids you saw getting the candy in the checkout lane from a Mom who wouldn't say no grow up to be consultants and branding people in advertising. They intuitively understand that playing to the entitled brat in people will work on them to sell them bad food, meaningless plastic, and shitty loan rates. "Come to our company, we'll be just like the parents who never said no. Well, until our beautiful actors with neon teeth get you in the door. Then our clerks will show you what that translucent disclaimer text at the bottom of the screen at font size -1 said. Oh and, when we run your credit report."

"But the beautiful people told me I could have it my way!"

"Yeah, maybe at Burger King sir. As long as you avoid drive-thru. NEXT!"

But anyway, the boarding pass is paper. (Remember this wave from earlier? :) You can fold it with one hand. That and your drivers license, ya put in your pocket. Easy access in, easy out. Like wearing sweatpants to your girlfriend's/boyfriend's house when you're 16 cuz the parents are gone that night.

But in regards to getting into things easier - maybe because momentum agrees with the Universe. Do even stuntmen ever really get comfortable driving a car backwards? Walking upstream always takes more out of you than walking with the current. Obviously if you need to go up river, against the current, walk along the side of the river, outside of the main flow. Less resistance.

No wonder philosophers and good artists eventually live in and study nature. The answers are right there if one watches the physical and spacial relationships. It's why somebody termed people behavior "Human Nature.

This is an ad for a song sung by a group of dolls from a cartoon I think. These dolls, called 'Bratz' are pre-teen fashion-obsessed girls, dressed like Sorostitutes-in-training who rock it out.

They actually did it. They kept the plastic element (in every aspect)), but got rid of the pesky carbon-unit human elements. It's merchandising without the actual band! Sweet. The label doesn't have to pay for insurance or hotel lodging for 5 real girls. They got the posters, dolls, music singles, videos. No pesky humans! No periods on gig nights, no long distance relationship problems, no royalty checks to the performer, no infighting among the band.

Imagine if you will, some Men-in-Black type walks among bodyguards to the ledge of the Mall's 2nd floor near the top of the escalator. A thousand teen and pre-teen girls are screaming for the Bratz. He removes 6 dolls one by one from a briefcase to the shrieking of the audience. He places them on a table (the stage) and hits the PA to play the song. The Mom's and their daughters start boogie'ing to a fake song that was sung by these inanimate plastic dolls that are "on tour" and came to this Mall, in that town, that day. So that means it's special.

Anyway, I like Yasmin. She comes with the totally awesome latex 'Fuck Me!' training heels that she can wear to Deja Vu when she works her way thru college.

A Ha! Gotcha! Yasmin won't work at the Vu to pay for college cuz DADDY'S GONNA PAY FOR IT. She's just gonna go to the Vu for amateur night on a dare from her boyfriend anyway. What's the big deal, it's only the Vu. It's like, OhmyGod, I've been to Cancun before. And I totally made out with my best friend at Todd Derris's party when the guys rooted us on to do it.

And you know what?
Daddy will pay for it.
He always does, in the end.

Welcome Back Hockey

2005-10-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

Seems Slap Shot 3 (completing the trilogy) was filmed with hand held cameras to make it more arty and independent.

Keep watching, when you think the brawl is calming down, it gets more insane.
The New Ice Capades

2005-10-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks University of Pheonix. The education from you is priceless. I am now fully fluent in all the curse words of the Western Hemisphere after your annoying, relentless, find-anyone-anywhere-regardless-of-the-webpage pop-up ad froze my whole computer here at work.

Obviously your curriculum does not provide classes on Psychology, Effective Work Habits, and Annoying Trends in Marketing. But obviously you do teach a class for Webdesigners on how to code pop-up ads to get around browsers with 'Block Pop-Up Ads' settings.

Do your Culinary classes teach a good Molotov cocktail?
By chance is that offered after the Shotput throwing class?

Let's share.

2005-09-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

Being a musician, it's not funny in the slightest to be searching online for diarrhea cures the day of the first gig with your band.

I might be talking about me, or one of my bandmates.
I ain't sayin'. Oh pipe down. Have a little mystery in your life for once. Does it always have to be about you??
GEEEZus...

Hey, don't give me any flak or lip, ya little punk. I was on the The Waltons ya know.

I can be Steven Wright too

2005-09-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

Remember learning when we were little how big blue whales would eat by swallowing tons of krill (like shrimp) in the water, and the whale filtered the krill form th water using their baleen (a filtration system kind of like a huge sieve in the mouth)?
Remember that?

You can simulate this same thing as a human. It's like when you chug a big glass of water that you stirred insoluble fiber into. Like Metamucil or psylliuym husks. Close your jaw a little and you can feel the fiber going past your teeth. I'll bet that's what it feels like for the whale.

All mine baby. Gonna teach my kids that someday.

Since I mentioned Steven Wright, I'll mention the one joke of his I remember cuz I liked it so much.

" I like to stand in the running shower with my clothes on, and stop the drain so the water fills at my feet, and play Sinking Submarine."

I think Krill and Krokus did a Kareoke duet for the Krull soundtrack back in the day.

Oh I just krill myself.

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NEWS ALERT
Thanks to Jan on this.

Talk about wagging the dog.
Notice the dates of these articles.

Read this one first.
Onion.com - Feb, 2004

CNN Money page - Sept 2005

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The Japanese mafia used a Soviet weather weapon to send the hurricanes at the US to piss off Bush.

No, really.

fun with werds

2005-09-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

Steve B was talking about Black Sabbath from his cube.
He mentioned the song "Fairies Wear Boots"

I misheard and asked "Tollbooth Fairy?"

Then decided my hobo hitchhiker name would be "Turnpike Barry."

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HEY

I'm finally playing a gig with my weekend warrior cover band I been practicing with all summer.

This Friday, September 30
830pm
South Lyon Hotel
South Lyon, MI
Upstairs.

Use GoogleMaps to find directions.
Copy past this into the search field:
south lyon hotel, south lyon, mi

It should bring it up for you right good.

I Need a Bib... For Tuna.

2005-09-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

That's it.

2005-09-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

THAT'S A WRAP

When I make my own 'Super-Size Me" documentary, I'm gonna live on Taco Bell Meximelts and McDonald's breakfast burritos. Because I could.

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PLEASE GOD NO

Seeing a certain CD sent meoff on a phase of Sammy Hagar -->investigating Montrose for the first time--> Van Halen. I been jamming 2 of my fav VH songs, 'Secrets' from Diver Down and 'Me Wise Magic' from the '96 Best Of. Then of course, my ear wanted the balls and brash of For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. (Which btw, was Sammy's "gel" record. That album was truly when the natural 'isms' of VH and Sammy finally blended and 'VanHagar' actually birthed itself. Every song on there can be traced to a Roth-era song composition-wise, but Sammy's vocals are pure Sammy in tone, spirit, and character.)

Aaaaanyway... so I'm coming into work with 'Poundcake'just pummeling the air with Alex's punchy, big room sound, brashy drums. (His bass drum on this album sounds like a wrecking ball was wrapped in velvet and when he hits a cymbal with it, it's sounds like said ball was swung through a wall made up of two pieces of drywall with about 30 sheets of glass between them. Imagine that visual and sound and turn up the subwoofer of your brain.

So the tune's ending and I cut off the CD to catch Drew and Mike's Trudy News and their talking about that Rockstar INXS show where they had a kareoke contest to replace Michael Hutchence. Then Drew says he heard that there's been rumor that this show might do another season with VAN HALEN finding a singer this way!

Now... [tense, constrained, sigh]...let me say something here.

(Right now by the way, every good friend of mine is feeling a disturbance in their Buddy Force. Something is making them very afraid, they know a seismic disturbance is occuring somewhere, like when Ben felt Alderaan explode. My really good friends, like Ruz who's currently flying back from his tour of duty in Iraq is sensing that something's wrong with Dave. His body is tensing up because he knows somewhere a Dave Van Halen rant is start to rumble the volcano's mountain.)

So I'll try to spare some carnage here. Touch up the levee's. Sandbag the outer bunker. Have the National Guard at ground zero before the riots start. I'll radio the Blue Angels for a flyby after they buzz the stadium when the national anthem finishes at whatever ballpark they got hired for. And we all know it ain't gonna happen.

I have the internet on my side. I will find out where this Rockstar show is and pull own personal Hedwig and yank the microphone cord out of these singer's mic's if this goes down. I will torch 5150 studios. (I'll look around first since I always wanted to visit that).

I said it once, I said it billion f*ckig times in the kitchen and backyards of various parties since 1999. If this band wants to have any chance of getting something done in a good way, they need to get Gary Cherone back.

Yes yes yes....I f*cking know. We all wish Dave would come back. He tried. Twice. Sammy took the high road and made first contact with Al, had lunch, bam we had a tour in 2004. Sammy got burned by that. Eddie and Al have problems. It's as simple as that. Gary was an intellectual and had a calming, inspiring influence on Eddie. Eddie let himself be himself, without being a wastoid with booze as his crutch (which reports seem to be saying he's back to.)

That album with Gary should perhaps have been an Eddie solo album, perhaps not put out as "Van Halen". To help get that unit gel'd. (It takes two years to become a really good band. Or drumline. Or any performance unit. I've taught, I've studied. Trust me.) The tour was amazing, Gary worked that crowd up like no one had seen in years. he learned what worked with that audience and what didn't. The work on the next album was coming along great, the tunes were more cars and women than political machinations and the like. Gary figured out the conciousness of the room he was to be speaking to. It was gonna be great. Shit, he was even growing his rock hair back out.

I'm tellin ya. At that time in the mid-90s, there was a synchronicity between what Gary brought to the table and where the VH nucleus was musically and maturity-wise. Gary understood the history of that band's musical output better than the band. He understood it as a fan, and as an accomplished performer and singer himself. It wasn't Eddie who decided to pull out 'Jamie's Cryin' and 'I'm the One', Mean Streets, Unchained, Romeo's Delight. It was f*cking Gary!

Gary's presence and influence got that band to accept and engage their past for all the glory it was, and at the same time allow the band to be as creative as they had always wanted to be. Eddie's an insecure kid who's voice is what he gets out of that guitar, Al's the big brother who protects him and makes the decisions, business and overall band aesthetic. (Remember, it was Al and Roth who were always conflicting over the band's focus, purpose, and presentation.) Michael lays back and lays it down. Gary was the brains and the rock of Al and Eddie combined. They could play smart and bring the boogie-woogie. They could satisfy the intellectual side while also not feeling like dinosaurs revisiting the gems that put them on the map. Every band grows tired of their early material and sees playing it again as backpedaling until enough time and distance pass and someone or something very real to them happens which puts a new perspective on how good that work really was.

There's arguments that VH should stick with the early stuff.
Well padre, how about you quit your job and go back to first job of washing dishes or waiting tables. You de-volve back too. Get back to "keepin' real". That's a nice mindset to have towards these guys. Hey Eddie, Hey Hetfield, leave your wife and house to pollute your body and insult your intelligence with a lifestyle that you already learned fucks your music up anyway. Yeah. Go back to being an angry self-destructing fuckup so I, Joe Dumb Fan, can get my money's worth when I escape my shitty directionless life for one night going to your show. Because I, your "fan", have musical consumer rights to your career and life, and wants you this of you because it makes me more comfortable with your output.

Years ago I clipped out a news item for my cube wall where a bunch of Aerosmith fans started a petition asking Aerosmith to be please get back on drugs. Because they hadn't written a decent riff since the drug days. It was funny in a way, but it's like the above mentality. I wonder if the fans would, in exchange, cover the housing, medical, counsleing costs for the band's children and families who would reap the benefit of this kind of action. Hey as long as the riff's are there, screw little Jenny having a chance at -not- becoming a stripping coke-whore because Dad was a distanst violent wastoid. It's about the music man. It's gotta be.

- Dave deserted the fans who for some reason still support him most.
- Sammy gave us 11 years (those shows were packed) till the brothers got stupid.
- Gary tried his best, took the jabs, and gave fans more of what Dave could not (great live vocals) or Sammy would not (classic material).

Yes I wish Dave would come back and they all got their personal shit together.
Yes I wish Sammy could do the same, but he tried, and it blew up in his face again.
I was there in 2004. Sammy's a pro and delivered a great show. But he'll never fully trust Eddie again. And that affects things. Even when it's not musically-based, that kind of protected holding back affects a band's vibe and output. LIve and recorded. The truth just sounds different, always. Truth is, Sammy won't ever truly rely on VH again.

But if anyone should come back now, per the history and circumstances, it should be Gary. With Gary they would actually be a Band.

Or we can get Sebastian Bach.
Or how' bout Rob Thomas?
Clay Aiken?
Fred Durst?
Melissa Etheridge?
Rob Zombie"
the guy from Nickelback?
Scott from Creed?

I know! How about some arm and neck tattoo'd skateboard guy with the bullring in his nose? That would be some cred.

How about Ricky Martin?
Andre Dice Clay?
Corpse of Bob Hope?
Lil Bow Wow?
Pavarotti!
Oak Ridge Boys?
Stephen Hawking.
Foreigner!
Ralph Nader?
Twiggy the model?
Bernie Mac!
Gonzo the muppet!!
Sean Hannity?
Jay.
Big Boy
Dennis Rodman?
Neil Sedaka!
Owen Wilson.

Yeah, I guess you're right. Any of these clowns would be a much better fit than Gary, who did the job, can do the job, and would do a great job, for all the right reasons.

Well, I guess we'll just have to keep going to Aerosmith then.
"Week-ick-ick-ick YOW!"

2005-09-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

BREAKING NEWS

Today is 'Talk like a Pirate' Day

talklikeapirateday.com

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At some point, we all become "that asshole" on the highway.

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WE DO KNOW JACK

Joy got a dog this past weekend, Jack.

He's a very good boy. Rottweiller and we're thinking maybe Doberman. He's like a Rott on the Hollywood no-carb diet. Very strong, very fun and playful. He and his buddy were given to the rescue in Howell per a nasty divorce, where the husband got everything and the wife gave the dogs up to (hopefully) a good home rather than let the ex-hubbie keep them and most likely not care for them well. Every loss is a gain somewhere else. So Joy wanted a big dog as loveable as Max the other Rott she dogsits for her brother sometimes. Finding as good a dog as Max is near impossible, but Jack is a good candidate. When he mellows a bit and gets used to his new Ma and Pa, he's gonna be just fine.

And he's barked only twice since we got him; once when Brendan tried the "Speak!" (for a treat) trick, and once when he "BOOF!"-ed at some people who walked a little close to the house this weekend. We were worried his protective instincts might be a tad on the Lebowski Dude side (the rescue said he acted like "didn't have a care in the world." They were right.)

He's strong. You could ski down the sidwalk behind him with no wheels if you're light enough.

Everyone says their huge menacing violent looking big dog is a big teddy bear. This guy is. But if you ask to shake, his RoboRott legs are like junior baseball bats. He brings it up and brings it down and your arm goes dee-OWn. He honestly doesn't know his own strength. He's like a cute small dog reincarnatd into a big dog. I wish we had some pics of him of our own, cuz he's a smiley dog. These pics of him from the rescue make him look a little serious.

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ME WUVS HALEN

From an email of mine to Ruz who's serving in Iraq, and my all-time best VH drinking buddy. Old men sit in the driveay in their lawn chairs talking about sports and the war, Ruz and I will be cheerleading about Van Halen over our egg-beaters and juice at Ram's Horn when we're 80.

Me Wise Magic might be my all-time favorite VH song dude.
I think it may just be their finest moment. The tune they pick to put on the Voyager probe so the aliens can hear choice tunes from EarthRock.

In one tune it just about encompasses every 'ism' of each guy, every crystallized value of their playing and personae that I have always loved and appreciated, from every stage of their musical development that I hold dear about VH. It houses the absolute blow your wad on the mountaintop rock glory of the younger years with the taste, chops, and matured musicality that they got over 30 years of jamming. I am muscially in love with that song, and the band for it.

I say it again, this song, as a composition, guitar solo and all, could be submitted as a music school jury piece.

This tune is almost 10 years old dude. Every note is perfect and genius, even when it's a wag.

God I wish those 4 could get it together and get Glenn Ballard to corral that energy again. Ballard got it down to tape. He gets a performance out of a band that leans precariously over the cliff edge of what even they think they can deliver, so the emotion runs at the scared yet confident edge. Then he puts a sheen on it so it sounds closer to glory than it does a near-casualty.

[I will be coming back 'round on this topic with my doctorate on why Me Wise Magic is so good. A detailed inventory and review of this song's composition. Stay tuned Rock Dawgs. but if you wanna start, early just listen to it first and only follow the guitar. Like if you had to learn to play it. Listen to the rhythm chords unerneath the chorus. Star with Eddie's part. Everything he is is in that guitar part, then and now. Trust me, I've logged the hours and miles. This song is their time capsule/lightning in a bottle.]

That Dave Mathews Everyday album is same way.
I go to the wall for that one too, even though everyone says its the corporate record. Bullsh*t.
Ballard wrung the absolute last drops of musical beauty out of that band on that one. He got the brush, twigs and branches out of the way so the ear could "see" and hear the tree. That beauty was always (and is always) there with DMB, and Ballard grabbed the essential elements and brought them forefront for the ear to hear immediately.

Shit, I'm a drummer, but even I want a perfect chord change rather than some hi-hat roll trick. Carter can bitch all he wants in hindsight about how much Ballard didn't let him play alot on that album. Well, sulk in the mansion Carter, cuz I remember reading the Rolling Stone in the magazine aisle of the Ypsilanti Meijer's hen Everyday came out, reading your words that you said about how much you loved that Ballard's guidance (albeit uncomfortable at first) really helped you mellow and let the song breathe better and be expressed more powerfully. Reminds me of Chris Squire of Yes heaping praise all over Trevor Rabin at the 1994 release party for the 'Talk' album. Then the band split, Squire started up the retro-classic Yes with Howe back in and just shit-talked all over Rabin. Hey Squire you pretentious British Bass F*ck, Rabin kept your yacht payments in good standing in the 80s. If you're gonna complain, go after the wardrobe person for the 90125 tour.
Shithead.

Lothar of the Bass People.

Now we know where Patrick "Wah" Roy got the idea for those psych-you-out goalie knee pads.

River Yes Dance!

I love ya Chris, and I always turn up the 'Roundabout', but not Geddy, Mark King, Billy Sheehan, or Bootsy has yet been knighted for bass playing and granted a castle of their own. I love seein' the hustle out there on stage, and the upper class British dignity you carry your head high with being a rock bassists is impressive. But it's a piece of wood that goes "BRONG!" and "Baownk ba-Daonk Baownk". I'm sure Arthur woud no doubt have made you the Round Table's designated minstrel representative. But you try leading some 3rd Crusade into the Middle East with just that mighty Rickenbacker, and Ltn. Commander Tony [call-sign:} "Bruce" Lee is gonna end that desert plain bass solo for Humanity's Love with a daisy cutter right up the back of that trenchcoat. 'Owner of Some Lonely Parts' I'm thinking...

Wai'...whut were we talkin' about?

Oh Yeah!, so we go this dog named Jack.

He's a very good boy. Rottweiller and we're thinking maybe Doberman. He's like a Rott on the Hollywood no-carb diet. Very strong, very fun and playful. He and his buddy were given to the rescue in Howell per a nasty divorce, where the husband got everything and the wife gave the dogs up to (hopefully) a good home rather than let the ex-hubbie keep them and most likely not care for them well. Every loss is a gain somewhere else. So Joy wanted a big dog as loveable as Max the other Rott she dogsits for her brother sometimes. Finding as good a dog as Max is near impossible, but Jack is a good candidate. When he mellows a bit and gets used to his new Ma and Pa, he's gonna be just fine.

And he's barked only twice since we got him; once when Brendan tried the "Speak!" (for a treat) trick, and once when he "BOOF!"-ed at some people who walked a little close to the house this weekend. We were worried his protective instincts might be a tad on the Lebowski Dude side (the rescue said he acted like "didn't have a care in the world." They were right.)

He's strong. You could ski down the sidwalk behind him with no wheels if you're light enough.

Everyone says their huge menacing violent looking big dog is a big teddy bear. This guy is. But if you ask to shake, his RoboRott legs are like junior baseball bats. He brings it up and brings it down and your arm goes dee-OWn. He honestly doesn't know his own strength. He's like a cute small dog reincarnatd into a big dog. I wish we had some pics of him of our own, cuz he's a smiley dog. These pics of him from the rescue make him look a little serious.

Such a good boy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get rid of the automatic spam that someone sicked on this blog's comments section.

Oh, I forgot...
I did go see Umphrey's McGee, and they were spectacular again.

Yooou must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Umphreylderann..."

Umphrey's play so good I feel like a little girl when I see them.

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'ATCHOO HAIKU:

Chase chicken like Rocky
Catch fry like Miyagi
Catch grasshopper by hopping in grass too
Here ends 'Atchhoo Haiku.

Thaaaat's right...IIIII'm Abe Froman...

2005-09-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

INVESTING FOR YOUR RETIREMENT:

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth
$49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,
you would have had
$214.00.

Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan.

p.s. I swear to you (all 5-6 fans of this blog) I got some good stuff comin'. Just haven't had a good chunk of time to go to town on it.

its been awhile

2005-09-08T06:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry about that.

Check out this neat thing:
Aerial/Satellite view of New Orleans in sectors. You can see the whole city, and where the water is and isn't. Click on a section of town and keep zooming in. Brown areas are dry, green-looking areas are where the water is.

School's In

2005-08-31T06:44:00.000-07:00

The Apocalypse has officially begun loading its tanks and armies on to the transports...

U.K. schools allowing kids to swear in class.

I really try to sail the middle of the channel politically, I'm blessed with fiercely intelligent friends who provide me great views of the shores from each side of the boat.

But this is some seriously f*cked up liberal touchy-feely bullshit. More of that 'esteem-based' Dewey New Education crap where not letting the kids get their feelings hurt or feel bad for anything they do (like get 2+2 wrong or, uh, tell the teacher to fuck off) is so frowned upon because these over-striving "super" parents want to be their kid's best friends, rather than a square un-cool parent (who compassionately disciplines the kid so they don't screw their life and the world up later.) So these "parents" put this "bike helmet of life" perimeter of buffer around their kid in everything they do. No hurt feelings, no unfulfilled desires, no failure, no learning to cope with NOT getting everything junior wants. Psychologically, not only is Mom wheeling the grocery cart out to the mini-va...sorry, SUV, but she's also wheeling the entire candy rack from the checkout lane with her too.

There's no time to let junior scream and learn life ain't always about him, Mom's late for her weekly berating of the soccer coach for not putting junior at center. Cuz he's obviously the most talented kid out there. When he's not picking his nose due to his nervous tick from being obsessively postured by his SuperMom. But not to worry, Dad will distract the crowd from the nose-picking with a good right hook to the coach anyway. Dan Sheckling, regional manager of the Northwest territory, Quadrant 3F, Clark county division of United Fruit Warehouse District 8 didn't spend his school years slamming skinny freshman into lockers so he could grow up to have a 4th string defenseman embarrass his sperm's family name on the soccer field.

I channel the spectre of Carlin for this one:
"Children are not all special, they're just like adults: a few winners, and a whoooole lot of losers."

A bit generalized, but you get the idea.

Happy Wednesday.

Some Things Protect Themselves By Being What (or Who) They Are.

2005-08-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

At first I thought "In his mind, in 1984 this would have been the result of hitting the 'Ultimate Career Nightmare' button in the time machine." And in my mind too.

Then I remembered something very important:
I'm talking about David Lee Roth.
There's a completely different set of rules and premises at work here.

This is probably EXACTLY what that clown was hoping to be doing in 2004 on that day of all days. And God bless for him loving every stinkin' second of it. Talk about not givin' a shit. He's SUPPOSED to be pulling off stuff like this. He wouldn't be David Lee Roth if he wasn't.

You think I'm gonna give it up here? No you gotta go do the legwork pal.
Wait for it...

'Jump' and 'California Girls'

Stick with me kid, and you'll be fartin' through silk

2005-08-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

From the illustrious Joe Rickle, Downriver Michigan's Ambassador of Comedy.

"Dave:

I was stuck in some of the exiting cruise traffic on Saturday, and low and behold, the frickin A-team van was next to me. The personalized license plate was the best part…”PTYDAFU”.

-Rickle"

2005-08-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

So which Big 3 company, oil company, or government office will foot the bill for the goon squad to take out this guy with the 'Preston Tucker Treatment'?

Tinkerers fiddle with hybrids to increase efficiency. Getting 250 mpg.

Too many families here making too much money off generations of gas guzzling car sales. Mass transit and less reliance on cars means less car sales. Henry Ford the 17th's trust fund goes bye-bye when efficient innovation threatens the money spring of the Old Guard and their models.

Follow the money.

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By the way some piece of sh*t decided to set the auto-spam machine on and post "comments" to this blog that are just ads. sorry for this. If you see comments "removed by administrator", that's me cleaning out spam.

Everday with this crap happening, I'm understanding more why the Kaczynski's of the world go live off the grid in a cabin. I'd just talkto the birds and critters instead of building bombs though. Well.. playing with m-80s would be fun. But I wouldn't be leaving them in people's mialboxes. I'd just blow stuff up out in the woods. Like the outhouse. THAT would be fun. But then the spread-out poop would make the area attract bears who'd eat my food. Not good because off the grid I'd have no electricity for the motion-sensor alarm. But I could befriend the bear, name him Ben II. Or maybe 'Ben Too'? I do have a favorite flannel I like to wear, and I've been told facial hair is becoming on me. I do like Doc Marten boots too. And I recently came to appreciate the greatness of suspenders with the suit I bought for a wedding years ago.

Ya know, this whole Grizzly Adams thing (as you can see) is making alot of sense and speaking to me. It's all coming together without me trying.

Then when I'm bored I head into town and while saying hi to the folks on the main drag, learn of some petty crisis from old Maude who lives on the hill that can become that week's adventure for me and Ben Too. (See how that name works so well already??")

But I need a name...something the townfolk will remember well.

"Grizzly Adams"...

"Grumpy Below"?
"Uncle Dave"?
"Bear Guy"?
"Mr. Gave Up"?
"Un-Unabomber"?
"Glorified Igor"?
"Mountain Adventure Guy with Crazy Bear Friend"?

I need to work on this some more.
And I need to find someone who works at the zoo so I can steal, er, I mean free a bear cub I can raise to be my sidekick. Teach him to drink with me like the Molson commercials bear. And communicate too. So he can go into town without me to buy more beer.

Clancy the General Store manager: "Well hello B.T.!"
B.T. (Bear Too): "KBWAARLL"
Clancy: "Another case?
B.T.: "BWAAARL"
Clancy [setting case on counter]: "Is he on another bender again?"
B.T.: "HRAAAAL! REMF RemF..."
Clancy [ringing up case]: "Ya now B.T. you need to stop supporting this behavior in him. It's not doing him or you any good. That'll be...oh why do I even ask. You always show me you have no pockets anyway for money, you're a bear."
B.T.: "GRAWL! FRIMF FRIMF! HARG HARG Pft BLARRGHH!:
Clancy: Save it B, you always use that excuse. I'll just charge this to the birthday party tab. You're still coming to little Jessie's party so the kids can ride and play with you.
B.T.: "BLAAAAAARL!
Clancy: YES, you will wear the party hat!
B.T.: "BLAAAAARL!"
Clancy: YES You WILL. You still want this case of Grolsch???
B.T.: "PMMff..."
Clancy: "That's what I thought."

[clancy rings up beer. Sheepishly looks at B.T.]

Clancy: "Aw, I'm sorry B. You know I'm your friend. I just care about you two up there,that's all."
B.T.: "mmmMMMRRmmmhimpf..."
Clancy: 'C'mere and give ol' Clance a hug."

B.T.: "HRIMF HRIMF Bla -"
Clancy: "YES B, I get the irony here."

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Check out this sweet World Record Bike Jump

cool

2005-08-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

Vintage Michigan website.
Find pics of all the drive-in's in Michigan from backwhen.
http://www.waterwinterwonderland.com

Beetlejuice will be performing at the Crazy Leprechaun in Philly.

2005-08-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

I heard that on Howard Stern this morning. What a great group of words.

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So this big chemical plant blew up in Wayne, Michigan last night. The band I play in, our guitarist Craig is "Chopper Craig" of the Channel 7 news helicopter. So we get finished playing some tune at rehearsal, his cell goes off, he exclaims "Holy Shit..." and immediately has to go. At first he thought it was an airplane crash at Metro, "some huge explosion by Metro". So we call scramble to help him get his gear in his car because he has to get down the road to get in the news chopper to fly over this thing and pilot/shoot images for the aerial coverage. That's what he does. and traffic reports. And play a mean guitar.

So it was kind of weird and neat to finish practice, get home, turn on the 11pm news to see the chopper view of this giant inferno, and hearing my guitarists voice in this very professional newscast voice relaying what was goin on down there.

Especially since an hour and a half earlier, we were all busting a gut at practice listening to our about-to-retire-from-his-dayjob saxophone player make fun of his sex life in hilariously graphic terms. And Craig was taking the lead in furthering the roasting.

By the way, Craig has a cute little white terrier named Mollie who comes to practice and flies with him a lot. She chases plastic water bottle caps around the slippery floor of our practice space. It's like a real-life Flintstones watching her feet spin in place and she doesn't move.

+

"Don't put it in your notes , put it in your life" --Mr. Dunn

2005-08-06T21:18:00.000-07:00

Just just, ok?

* Problems, like the Earth, are spherical in shape; If you run from them in the opposite direction, you'll eventually come right back around to 'em, but the real long way.

* When you begin to remember a moment's beginning, that moment is soon to end.

* There's always someone you love who worships a band you hate. And vice versa.

* "Life finds a way."
--Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park.

It's true.

* If every piece of matter is made up of little atoms with protons and electrons and neutrons all orbiting around a nucleus... and beings and life forms are built up of layer upon layer of more organs made up of millions of more atoms all containing this orbiting circular rotating energy...and the matter in the whole universe is based on this, doesn't it seem to make sense that "what comes round goes around" really does happen since the smallest particles of everything that exist come around and go around in the deepest fabric of their matter? Combine this reasoning with statement #1 above of this posting and it makes sense why we have a new boy band fad every 10 years, there's still marriages where people stay with people who abuse them, and that no matter what year or cast, Saturday Night Live always "sucks" till you watch reruns of said "suck" period 8 years later on Comedy Central and rave about the glory days.

* Let yourself accept that you love Journey.

* Beer tastes different and better when you drink on a boat/on water. Personally i think it's because we're so much water in our physiological makeup, so when we're on water, there's this sub-level molecular thing going on where your surroundings at such a moment are biologically more in harmony than usual. Lake -- person made up of 60%-ish water -- liquid beverage. Your sensitivity thresholds are screaming because you're in the homeland. Or it's because you're enjoying a beer without someone's fart fumes or cigarette stench fighting for your tastebud's and olfactories attention.

* The secret to life is 44% lettuce. (I'll come back to this someday.)

* Joe Walsh could play a guitar solo tomorrow so powerful, soulful, and inspiring that resurrects Jesus, Elvis, Princess Diana, Martin Luther King, and every innocent child who was ever murdered, and people would still have nothing to say of Joe when his name is brought up besides how much of a bafooned, lush, drug casualty he is.

* They know how addicting and good Cinnamon Life cereal is... that's why it's on sale only once a year.

* Listen to Sun Ra on headphones when you go for a summer night time walk.

* Next time the overhead music in the store is annoying you, imagine how weird it would be if there was no music. If you can't imagine it, go to a dollar store. You'll see.

* Tell Grandpa you love him. Even if he's "not like that" cuz' he comes from a different era.

* Kosmo's Deli in Ann Arbor's Kerrytown is a special place. The food, staff, and operation is clean, cheerful, and with love.

* Strange and wonderful dreams if you take a multi-vitamin at bedtime.

The Sex Issue!

2005-07-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

(All items are about sex.)

These two deserve all the misery they get having to endure being together to fulfill the contracts they signed in the first place.

[Imagine I spelled 'twats' in a way that made it pronounced like 'brats'. Thanks]

Sexy Because: Paris Hilton is only "important" because the only thing she can do is look sexy.

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Berlin readies giant brothel for 2006 World Cup
No, really.

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Don't know how much this relates to the Sex Issue this edition is supposed to be, but on my headphones is INXS's 'The Stairs', my favorite tune of theirs. Which makes me think of that horrible Rock Star show the band is doing with "host" Dave Navarro to find Hutchence's replacement. Saw 10 minutes of an episode the other week.

Just when I think today's wanna-be's can't get any more irritatingly striving/posturing/over-hyping their own lameness, some producer comes up with an idea for a show that proves me wrong.

Especially vomit-worthy is watching the 'O' and rock faces the other contestants put on fakely when the camera is on them sidestage as they "root on" their competitors singing on stage. Especially that black mohawk dude, he's ridiculous. I didn't know the Mad Max people actually rejected people trying out for "Mutant-Extra".

These idiots need to kneel on the ground and hold between their out-stretched arms one of those over-sized turbo slingshots you launch water ballons with so I can stretch the middle pouch back 30 feet, put a brick in it, and let go.

Lou Ferrigno needs to pick Dave Navarro up by his nipples and throw him through a very thick restaurant front window. Maybe he'll put a shirt on then. I think of my friends who really were behind the Jane's back in the day and must cringe at this great guitarist now.

Sexy Because: Navarro would probably think it was sexy-violent-cool to be thrown out a window by The Hulk. He'd get up, brush the glass shards out of his fur coat and start slowly frenching Lou while Carmen videotapes it for his next video.

************

GPS surveillance of sex offenders.

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I'm tired, so I'll end with saying I watched the movie 'Be Cool', the sequel to 'Get Shorty'. Sonnenfield did not direct it and it's apparent. But if you watch "Get Shorty" sometime, watching "Be Cool" is a neat novelty rental since the whole Chili Palmer thing is in your short term memory. Vince Vaughan is pretty funny, and of all people, The Rock is actually quite a good actor in this one.

Anyway, there's a dancing scene between Travolta and Uma Thurman in 'Be Cool' that is actually quite sexy. Like "this probably ruffled their significant other's feathers a bit cuz damn! they look like they really wanna do it to each other afterwards" sexy.

I thought.

*********

For you techies out there, check out this article about how potential future DVD copyright encryption for hi-def DVD's could really screw the consumer when hackers mess with it.

This kind of thing is making me understand alot earlier in life why Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't keep upgrading their home entertainment stuff.

Be My Taco Bell Bitch yo.

2005-07-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Ya know how like every 4-6 years a new Taco Bell item makes it to your stomach's VIP room? Something that just works for you and becomes the default item for the while?

I was a burrito supreme man in the late 80s. Since the Meximelt hit around that time, it's now a default item,the supreme a treat every 5 years. I could live on Meximelts if they didn't kill me. Early to mid 90s the 7-layer burritto became my main gun, with a Meximelt. But a few too many times of the rice in it being overcooked and crunchy turned me off. I drifted for awhile on meximelts and new gimmicks till the Double Decker Supreme came to town in the early 'oughts. Been on that ever since. Its the best of both worlds - you get some crunch with your folded-differently 'burrito', or, your 'taco' doesn't shatter onto the tray and paper after bite 1.

Bekkala got me now hooked on the spicy chicken burritto. It's my new 'TBell bitch'.
Buck 29 and oh so fine.

Listen I'm not joking...this [blog's] my job!